This is a post about a subject very close to home.  My home.  It is about politicians who wouldn’t know poverty if it chewed on their overpaid arses.

It’s about, in part, Jamie Oliver.

Now, to put this out there, I love Jamie.  For years and years, I idolised the man.  He taught me to cook, when I could barely operate a Pot Noodle and we lived off Smash (dehydrated potatoes) and pasta (we even overcooked that).  I would watch all his shows and learn, slowly, from the TV.  In less than a year, I was able to cook a three course meal for 15 people.  Gourmet became easy and I was soon laughing my way through 3 meat roasts and cooked-from-scratch curries.  I owe my skill in the kitchen to Jamie.  I have a lot to thank him for.

Jamie Oliver was good to watch, when I had money.  Before I had six operations, culminating in a partial mastectomy of my right breast.  He was great, before I had a heart attack–caused, in part, by the amount of strain the constant general anaesthetics put on the organ.  Before I was diagnosed with Unstable Angina (that’s the bad sort, if you’re interested.  It means there are days when rolling over in bed causes my heart to seize up and my oxygen levels to fall drastically–on these days, I can just about, with the constant administration of GTN spray, make it to the loo).  Jamie was excellent, before I had to leave a well paid job and fall back on the State and Child Tax Credits, just to help me survive.

I lived comfortably and we wanted for pretty much nothing important.  We were young, in our late twenties, with well paid good jobs and four beautiful, if a bit spoiled, children.  Life was good.

Until it wasn’t good and all I could do was watch, helplessly, as it spiralled down the pan.  I was laid out on the couch every day with a sick-bucket as my constant companion.  They don’t tell you that part–heart failure makes you puke.  A lot.  I couldn’t walk to the shop, 100m from my front door.  I had to stop and rest, sitting on my neighbours walls, every couple of feet.  Work was an impossibility.

Enter the recession.  Goodbye Hubby’s job…thank you and goodnight.  We were now, without question, in the deepest shit it was possible to get into.  Then our landlord sold the house from under us and we were homeless as well.  Luckily, we found another house and my husband found another job pretty bloody quick.  It’s important to feel as though you’re earning money and not sitting on your arse having it handed to you.  Trust me, I know this from experience; it is a major reason I started writing ‘seriously’.

My Food Budget?  About £45 a week.  That’s for five days worth of packed lunches for four people, two lunches for five at the weekend, and seven evening meals.  £45.00.  I was over the moon, when I saw Jamie had a new show on 4oD (yes, I know it’s not *new*, but I don’t watch a lot of TV).  Food on a budget, that sort of thing.  “Hooray,” I thought, “he’ll show me how to feed us all on the money I have.”

Nope.  Not a bit of it.  You see, to Jamie Oliver, a £20 shoulder of lamb is ‘cheap’, because it can do two meals and it’s not the leg, so costs less per kilo.  Two meals, Jamie?  For twenty bloody quid, I want at least four meals.  It’s a sad day when I get angry at Jamie Oliver for being a pretentious arrogant prick.

The reality of poverty is not what you might see on TV, with those delightful characters from Benefit Street (Channel 4).  It isn’t all about people, cursing loudly in the street with a fag in hand and their pyjamas on, while they scream at little 2 year-old Albie to get ‘the fuck indoors, ya little shit, or I’ll faaahkin slap ya, innit!’  It’s not sitting around on a bench with a can of Special Brew, unwashed and stinking of urine, roll-up in filthy fingers.  I don’t smoke.  I can’t afford to smoke.  I don’t know many people who can.  I have bars of soap next to my sinks and I am able to use them to good effect.  I am not dirty.  I am relatively poor.  There is a difference.  It’s not even about food banks, because I don’t know what the hell you have to do to get referred to one, but it’s complicated, a long process.  I have a fear the food banks might be linked to Social Services and I, like most of my peers, were raised to avoid them at all possible costs. (please see part 2 of this blog for details of how to find and get help from your local food bank if you need one.  I know, now, that it is not complicated and does not involve social services.)

The reality of poverty is counting the 2p & 5p coins saved in a bottle, and sending a 10 year old to buy a packet of cheap pasta and a tin of tomatoes, because it’s sort of embarrassing to have to pay with coins and count them out while there is someone behind you with a £20 note.  The reality is eating plain boiled rice and pretending to like it, so the kids don’t know there’s no other food except for what is on their plates.  The reality is having an electric meter, running always on emergency credit, because you can’t afford to get out of the cycle you’re trapped in.  It’s making the choice between putting the heating on for an hour, or going cold and being able to buy a pack of sausages and some potatoes.

The reality of relative poverty is going to the butcher and asking for a pound of mince to be separated into three bags for three meals.  You’d be amazed what I can do with mince.  The reality is going to the supermarkets just before they close, and buying all you can for a fraction of the cost, because it’s going out of date tomorrow.  That’s okay–you’re eating it tomorrow.  It’s value priced peanut butters and cheap cuts of fatty meat.  It’s poor-quality chicken and eggs from barn hens.  It’s learning to mend, reuse, recycle and go without.  It’s washing your hair with washing-up liquid, because it’s all you have until Wednesday, when the Holy Grail of Child Tax Credit hits your account and there’s £50 for shopping.

The reality of poverty is the shame of always having to say, “Sorry, I can’t afford it.”  It’s calling your mum, in tears, because there are bailiffs pounding on the door.  It’s drinking so much water you feel ill, simply so your stomach isn’t painfully empty.

So, Jamie, forgive me for not watching your show.  Forgive me for breaking up with you.  You’re as clueless, you see, as those politicians you hound into raising the school meal standards.  I can’t afford for my kids to eat school meals–not at £2 per child per day (that’s £20 I simply don’t have) and we can’t get them for free, because we’re not ‘on the dole’.  I suggest, before churning out the tripe you film, you come and spend a day in my world.  I’m so cold I can’t feel my fingers as I type this blog about poverty on a computer bought for me by a friend.  I will let you sit next to me and we’ll laugh at how you can see your breath misting in the air above my charity-shop desk.  I’ll show you which needle is used to stitch a hole in the toe of a canvas trainer.  I’ll make you a coffee, but only if you don’t have sugar–that’s a luxury we only buy in if we’re going to make a cake.  You can help me scrub some of the mould from the walls, before it takes over the house entirely.

We can do all of that.  Then, maybe, you’ll realise what poverty is.

Read More here: The Upsetting Truth…Part Two! A follow-on from this article.  Please read this BEFORE leaving comments on this page.  Many thanks.

(A quick addendum: thank you all so much for the messages of support and the overwhelming goodwill.  Answering messages, sending people to the correct links, where they can get help, is time consuming, so please be patient – I am only one person.  Please get in touch via email, if you know of organisations that could be of help to others.  I will be sure to pass all information along the line – and share it all on my Facebook page.  If you are looking for help, advice or just someone to talk to, please contact me either through email or my Facebook page HERE.  I am great at finding numbers and websites that might help.

If you would like to donate to any of the causes that have cropped up thanks to this article, please contact your local food bank, or the Trussel Trust, who will be happy for any donations you can give!

I am an author. I am Indie-Published and I sell my books through Amazon.  I am very new at it all (in the scheme of things – only 7 months old) and I have no outside help or agents to publicise me, pay me, or do any of ‘that stuff’.  I live in rented accommodation and I *do* receive a small amount from Child Tax Credits.  My husband works.  We are above the ‘cut off’ wage of £16,190 p.a and are not entitled to any more than we already claim.  While I see the goodwill behind the thousands of comments telling me to claim free meals, Working Tax Credit etc. etc, we are not entitled to them.  We live in the Grey Area of the benefit system and actually make less than those on benefits, after taxes (but the amount after taxes is not the amount used for calculations).

To do my ‘job’, which is writing, I need the computer to be able to both write and publish my work.  My work supplements my husband’s wage.  It is a necessity not a luxury.  It is the tool of my trade.  While it seems to make sense to say that my computer is a luxury, it was actually a very generous gift from a friend who was staying with us for a while, when he was made homeless after a bereavement.  That I feel the need to justify having a computer is indicative of the ‘stigma and shame’ surrounding poverty.  As though not having a TV, not having Internet, not having a computer, keeping the gas off, eating less…(the list here is endless) will somehow magically change the poverty-stricken situation into one of good times and plenty.)

My books can be found here if you are in the UK, and here if you are elsewhere in the world.  Thank you.

As so many people have asked…here is the link to the paperback version.

688 thoughts on “The Upsetting Reality Of Modern Day Poverty.”

  1. Thats how I grew up, pretty much that!. Just my mom an older brother (who was never around) and my sister who had cancer for 20 years. My earliest memory is being hungry (really hungry I.e. no food for 3 days at a time, up until I was 12 and learnt to (borrow) food from farmers fields and catch rabbits. We also kept them as pets or so we tols the neghbours.
    I know how you feel, I founs the best place to find insperation was the library. .
    If I ever meat you I will give you a hugg.
    Hang in there

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ii have worked since the age of sixteen, for the last twenty years developed and managed a NHS youth service very recently being made redundant due to the public sector squeeze and the refocus of local authority into self preservation.
      I have always been a ardent supporter of socialist values and the welfare state happily paying tax /Ni if occasionally wishing I could choose what it paid for…. I have during the past 4 years of Katie Hopkins and David Cameron perspective driving policy I have cocluded that I am not a part of English society anymore In a way I used to feel , I am cynicAl maybe but the contribution I used to make through employment k now see as going to ensure the top 10% can receive their bonuses and for e xample get a good education for their kids in classes no bigger than 5, with premier league teachers whilst my kids get poorer and poorer education motivated by schools chasing ofsted targets rather than the belief In education.
      Why would I work to support that system – sorry Tories I’m not that thick but I am angry and hopefully clever and adept enough to take my life and my kids life from your economic facade and pretence of austerity .

      Liked by 1 person

    2. That is how I grew up in the 80’s, sadly again on and off over the last 5 years with my own child. Except I have found myself going without meals, so my son doesn’t ever know how it feels. I became a master of making it look like everything was not sinking, by spending carefully rotating bills so they would all be met and getting rid of anything we couldn’t afford. More recently I had to explain why I couldn’t take my son to school in the car on cold/we/icy/snowy days, because I didn’t have the money to cover the petrol, as every last mile for work was accounted for and an off peak travel pass for those I didn’t need the car for – an that was an artistry of carefully booked customers so I didn’t need to travel at peak hours.
      Kathleen you are right that day of the week you get paid your tax credits is the saviour of the week then its gone hours later and nothing to show for it. But because we get it means we are not entitled to school meals for our children – a tax credit is a benefit but it has the wrong name if you want help from any others.

      I have however now opted to take things into my own hands – joining the Green Party after months of saving money from good days of work. And now I have been selected as a candidate for General Election in my area, now I just need to find everyone who lives the same as we do and hope they too can see the the same hope I can. If I don’t succeed, at least I tried.

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  2. It was refreshing to see a honest portrayal of poverty from atypical family. I grew up in a single parent household where money was extremely tight. It is only looking back that I realised this as my mum worked so hard to make sure I never noticed. Thank you ♡

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  4. I’m a pensioner on low income and can relate to all you say. Practically all the food I buy is reduced and everything, be it a tin of beans or packet of mince, is divided in two to feed us twice. I do find making a big pot of lentil soup with bacon scraps from the butcher/supermarket and lots of carrot, turnip and onions goes a long way to filling the gaps in the cold weather.

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  5. I couldn’t get to the end of your story without sobbing. Sobbing because of your illness and sobbing for the way you are forced to survive.
    God, if only I had spare money id send you it. Ive experienced planning food to eat to survive and not enjoy. Its beyond depressing. Its soul destroying just as you describe it. I cant look at turkey mince nevermind eat it even though its probably 20 years ago.
    I will keep you in my thoughts and I truly hope someone or something will help you in your situation. Lots of hugs xox
    Please dont be ashamed to ask for help go to Citizens Advice and get them to assess your situation there could be benefits youre not aware of that you are entitled to. Its worth a try xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Your story is very sad to read. I grew up in a very poor family myself so I know what it feels like. What I don’t understand is why you aren’t asking for financial help from our benefits system? I understand pride and that you were brought up not to ask for help, but doesn’t there come a time when you swallow your pride for the sake of the family and just ask? You aren’t a well person. You need to stay warm and not half starved for your children. Get some claim forms and fill them in for goodness sake! That’s what the system is there for. The children might qualify for free school dinners for example. You won’t know until you ask. I wish you all the best.. Xx

        Liked by 1 person

  6. One poverty tip that feeds well is to Get bones for free from your butcher and make bone broth.. this is full of nutrition and very healing to anyone sick..and if you add veggies and fat its a complete meal.

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  7. I can remember my mum ordering my brothers milk allowance for a weekend so that if we had nothing else we had milk to eat whatever was left of the cereal, or rice pudding etc. because she didn’t get her family allowance until Monday.
    Politicians, celebrity chefs etc have no idea what poverty is until they have lived it, truly lived it.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I feel your pain. I remember the days only too well when my wife and I took it in turns to eat in order to keep our 3 young daughters fed.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This was a well written and honest portrayal of real poverty, not the kind portrayed to us by the media. We are depicted by the media as happy chimney sweeps and winos, being unintelligent and not very good at spending money, as though we had a choice. I couldn’t agree with you more Kathleen about everything and I like your writing. Poverty is what a lot of us are or have been through at the complete ignorance of parliament and the higher ‘classes’.

    My mum raised 4 boys on her own on benefits in the early nineties, I’m one of them.

    We were homeless in the beginning, the lowest times of my mums life. Slowly we got housed and if it weren’t for my little brother’s diagnosis of aspergers syndrome i’m not sure where we’d be because that extra disability allowance helped us eat bland tasteless and cheap food, but food all the same.
    The pairs of shoes i had through childhood i can count on one hand and created ingrowing toenails. Our clothes had to last so we looked like cabbage patch kids. Mum wasn’t ashamed, practicality over vanity. we were warmer for it. The only shops we visited were charity shops and iceland

    Mum’s heroism didn’t stop there, school failed me, my mum pulled me out of school, taught me how to read and write and out me back in again at the age of 9. I still take pride in my ability to read and write. Life in poverty makes you strong and clear headed.

    After careful house exchanging and extreme calculational saving/improvisation wherever possible my mum provided us everything she could. We had pocket money and a holiday most years.
    It wasn’t her fault my dad walked out, it wasn’t her fault the unpaid bills he left behind made us homeless. I still remember sleeping in a tent in my mum’s friends garden with one blanket between 5 of us, cold times.

    Now all adults we are resourceful, unwasteful, grateful and wise people and fiercly proud of our mum. In the same way the higher ‘classes’ look down on us, I shun their ignorance at being unwilling to even realise the extremes some of us are forced to go through to survive.

    Now my mum is a highly talented artist and still struggles to this day it pains me to say, you can give her site a visit here
    clairemiltonreynoldsportraits.com

    I know what i want for this country and our childrens children and it’s not what i see when i watch politicians celebrate over bottles of champaigne worth more than i make in 2 years. Keep writing Kathleen, we’re all with you on this (well, the ones that understand)

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for taking the time to comment so eloquently. I really feel for you and the situations you knew growing up. I can only say thank you for sharing your experiences. They have made you strong; that is never something to feel shame for.
      All the best!

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  10. Truly a heart wrenching story, I hope thi gs work out for you and your family, I have been in the situation myself and to this day hate the taste of rice now, hope you see the light at the end of the tunnel and thank you for highlighting such an important issue 2015 people shouldn’t be living like this

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  11. An absolutely fantastically eye opening description to those who have no idea, I cannot say that i have worn your shoes or been where you have been, and i hope i never have to to that extent.

    My mother is an incredibly kind person (everyone says that about theirs, and they’re not wrong), it took me 20 years to realize the struggles, the lack of money and the sacrifices she made to feed, clothe and look after 5 kids, sometimes more because she often let friends stay with us that were in a worse position.

    I have experienced the rationing of electricity/heating over food. As a young boy i taught myself buscraft, i used it for four years, living off the countryside. Hopefully i will never have to do it again, but if needed i would to feed my wifes 3 kids, in a heartbeat.

    Your strength amd determination is inspiring, and i hope your writing and blogs do reach the relevant people, and i hope you get that good karma you deserve.

    Stay strong, stay positive and look after yourself

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  12. I’ve been there, and it’s only recently that we’ve finally become more comfortable. Choosing between warmth and food, and of course choosing food and cuddling up together in one bed to stay warm; being unable to afford meat more than twice a week; buying all clothing from charity shops; mending, making and reusing. But I take pride in knowing that I can look after my family so well on so little, and thank goodness we’re a little better off now. I still don’t spend more than £30 a week for my family of two adults, a toddler and a baby, though! I’ve learned budgeting and how to go without 🙂

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  13. You sum it up so well. I hope things improve for you…sometimes we get lucky. Thanks for telling it like it is. I have been there but thankfully have been able to move on. Despite now having a normal income and working, I can’t help staying frugal…. Just in case! Wishing you well.

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  14. At least Jamie tries. He is trying to cater for an average person not a person going through the worst. And you can do a lot on £45 a week food budget. Don’t just buy cheap almost out of date food for a day: freeze it and have lots. Get all your meat this way. Get mince like this and put it into 3 Tesco bags to freeze: cheaper than using a butcher!

    You have a right to complain but you can try to be positive and see the good too. You choose internet and to spend time blogging… Could you use the internet and free time productively? I have an ill friend who stitches and knits and sells it on eBay: gives her more money to give stuff to the kids.

    You sound so bitter! Did you not have life insurance with critical illness cover? Recommend that to people before complaining about everything!!!!

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    1. Please take the time to have a quick read through the rest of my blog and/or my Facebook page. I am a very upbeat and positive person. Positive I shall pull myself back out of the situation I am in.
      I am an author. I spend 12 hours a day, most days, writing. The books I write are my income, my computer the tool of my trade.
      Yes, Jamie Oliver might be catering to the ‘normal’ people. It is, however, highly patronising to anyone below the poverty line.
      The butcher is cheaper for meat. Why should I have to feed my children cheap 25% fat mince from Tesco, bought at the end of its shelf life, endangering all of our health, to save at most £1.00?
      No. I did not have critical illness cover, although I resent the implication that my downfall is my fault for not having it. At 29, you tend not to think a heart attack is round the corner. I have life insurance – which is more than a lot of people my age (then and now) have. What I saved or did not save is, like my non existent critical illness cover, neither here nor there. Had I saved any great amount, after 7 years on the breadline, it would all be gone.
      I hope this clarifies things a little.

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      1. I can identify with a heck of a lot of what you have written. Poverty isn’t something that happens to the work shy and feckless -as it is so often portrayed – it can happen to anyone, including extremely hard working people. I know, from experience. A child with born with a serious illness, not only dramatically effected my ability to earn – I had a very well paid career – but eventually took its toll on my health and relationship. Both crumbled under the strain. Unfortunately I had stopped paying for critical illness cover before I became ill, because as you describe, when your budget only covers the very basics, paying £40 a month for cover seems ridiculous, extravagant even. Like you, I find it exasperating when Katie Hopkins minded people try to unpick your story with the intention of laying blame, and finding fault. When, in reality a lot of poor people are actually extremely clever at making their tiny resources stretch as far as possible. They have, as you say, NO IDEA.

        Liked by 2 people

    2. Bubbles88
      Live insurance with criticle cover are you serious? Even for people not quite in poverty that’s a luxury! It’s not easy to get if you have pre existing conditions and if you go for one of these cheap £5 a month ones they rarely pay out, I have first hand experience of that!

      Life insurance is for people that don’t know the meaning of poverty!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree. I was lucky in that I began my policy when times were good. I will not cancel it because in the event of my death, my family will benefit. It’s one of those things, like electric and gas, that I make sure is always paid, however hard things get.

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  15. I remember when I was younger, my dad being out of work, mum working part time, food being as basic as it could be but always there for us. My schoolbag was a cool bag I had been given by a pharmaceutical rep. My shoes red, not black as they should have been for school because they were in the sale (and yes the school kicked off about it) and getting teased daily about these things.

    One of the staple budget meals my mum would make for tea which I think she used to have in Belfast as a kid was beans egg and onion. Sounds weird but it’s lovely esoecially with a round of bread. You fry the egg so the yolk is runny , heat the beans and chop onion finely. Then chop it all up together and serve. It’s still a favourite x

    Your blog resonates with so many. Thank you x

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Lived like this for a long time hang in there, things do get better just don’t give up, and your kids will learn from you and do we’ll in life because they want to avoid it, and they will value what they have more as they grow up. Hang in there!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. A heart wrenching story, but one too many of us can relate to.

    Don’t be afraid to go to your local food bank though if you find your cupboards empty. As far as i’m aware, you don’t need to be referred and you don’t need to give them your details. Both of my siblings have made use of the local food bank (Stockport, Greater Manchester) during incredibly desperate times after our parents separated (the family home was sold and everyone went their separate ways whether they liked it or not). No referrals, no forms to fill in. It may be different in your area but it’s worth checking out.

    I hope you can see a light at the end of the tunnel 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  19. I feel your pain Kathleen. I’m a single parent of 4 and up to last year I was working and attending university until my landlord sold my home and evicted my family. We were placed in a hostel. My job came to an end and the council said for them to rehouse me in London I would have to give up uni and get a job. I got a temp job to appease them but that only lasted 3 weeks and I’ve been unemployed for 7 months. We also have to choose between heat and food. Keep your head up I send you my blessings and hugs it’s nice to know I’m not alone. You are an inspiration the powers that be should be ashamed

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  20. Thank you for actually putting out there, the reality of living on benefits. It’s not pretty, it’s far from fun, and waaay beyond that crappy Benefit street, they have really ‘worked the system’ if that’s how they live. Reality is living on a small ESA claim, and my husbands Army Pension, because he was medically discharged from the army when he broke his back. We live on just over £700 a month. Complete C!a*!!

    Anyway I’ll stop bitching, some tips I have picked up along the way, CANDLES, when you can’t afford the heating on, light candles, it is amazing how warm they make a room. Tea light candles, bag of a 100 is £2 from most supermarkets, can last a month. To get food from a food bank, contact your local council, see what Charities you can get help from also, some charities have their own food banks. It is all basic stuff, tinned food, rice, pasta, milk etc, It is not in any way linked with Social services hun, we have had to do it a few times, and I have my youngest son living with us and nothing has happened. Stock cubes, they can add flavour to anything, especially plain rice, look on face book for sites that give you recipe’s for living on a budget. Try ‘ feed a family for £20 ‘ they have some great idea’s, not always realistic, but a lot that is. Remember there is no shame in accepting help either. Citizen’s advice may be able to help you get in touch with people who can help. Do you get any benefit? You may be entitled to some….. Hope this helps even a little xx

    Liked by 3 people

  21. A really touching story Kathleen. I agree the food programmes on tv use ridiculously expensive food. Blaming Jamie Oliver for your misery is a bit odd though. He has nothing to do with it. And I wonder why you won’t apply for social security. 45 pounds a week is obviously not enough to live from. Is your pride so strong that you will not allow yourself or your children to accept help from the government trough programmes such as social security? Put away that pride, accept all the help and rebuild your life. That is the way to get back on track. Not by writing angry stories on a blog, blaming tv chefs more using expensive ingredients.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Mark, I am not blaming Jamie for my misery, I am just saying that he has made a programme on ‘low budget foods’ and they are not in any way low budget. I adore Jamie, as he has taught me everything I could possibly know about cooking. I want to marry him to be perfectly honest, I love him to pieces, as I have stated in my blog. The only issue I have is the ‘low budget foods’ – £22 for a joint of meat is NOT low budget.

      As far as social security goes, my husband works. I cannot work due to medical reasons. We are not on the dole. There is no pride, I have all the help I can possibly get. I get less with my husband working than I would if he signed on. I get less than I would were I a single parent on income support. I get less than I would get as a jobseeker. It is not my pride, it is the government thinking it is okay to get paid roughly £100 a week to live on, and expecting that we can afford new school uniforms, shoes, gas, electric, general necessities that we cannot do without for FIVE people.

      Liked by 3 people

  23. are you getting all the benefit you are entitled to? If you rent even from a private landlord, and even if one of you is working, you can get housing benefit to part pay your rent, they’ll assess your income for the number of people in your household and make sure you only pay as much of your rent as they calculate you can afford and still be left with a reasonable amount to live on.

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  25. Kathleen, I can only wish the best for you, for relief to come soon, from somewhere. I wish for you health and hope. From a friend in Maryland, usa.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. 2 of you on benefits. thats £240/month, each. Rent/council tax benefit £300/month. Child tax credits £85/child/month.. and out of that you can only afford 45/week on shopping? Maybe if you stopped paying for luxuries like 4OD, which is watched on the internet you’re paying for, the same internet that you are using now to post this, then you would have a bit more money. I’m in the same boat as you and I get by..,. I bet you any money that all of you own mobile phones… Yet you complain about eating rice. Which is another thing, there’s nothing wrong with rice. You need to learn how to budget. Like I said I’m in the same boat as you.. But I easily get by. I would get by even easier if I had a partner as well.

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  27. Brilliant post! Pretty much all of this sounds very familiar to how I grew up! I have to be honest though, my parents were brilliant…I never knew I went without. It’s only when I look back and speak to my parents that they admit the struggles they had but never let it show. It has also taught me a lot about saving money and not wasting anything such as food, which I think are traits that not many people seem to have these days. So I’m grateful! Thanks for this post, I enjoyed reading it!!

    Liked by 1 person

  28. In the 1960’s I did our family food shopping for a family of four for £5 a week. But money is worth nothing these days. You can’t even buy two postage stamps for £1. I estimate you need at least £3 a day per person to eat. Although it will have you gritting your teeth, being a poor single person is a doddle compared with supporting a family, check out kath Kelly’s ” How I lived on £1 a day for one year”. It has a good reference section at the back and good ideas for entertainment.
    Volunteer to work for a charity shop – they usually offer staff discounts. As you are a cook check out vegetarian cooking especially Middle Eastern, Indian and Mexican (dhal/chick pea and other bean curries etc). Baked potatoes and baked beans/cheese & onion/etc – you can micro wave/boil spuds then finish off in oven to crisp. Make pancakes from scratch. Bake carrot cakes for the kids – look at wartime cookery. If there are Indian shops near you you can get huge bags of rice and many types of bean much cheaper than supermarket. Also large bags of onions. Make soups from scratch. Mushrooms and peas are protein, but many bean soups are delish. Sprout mung beans. A mint plant for mint tea. A blanket or fleece under the sheet makes a cosy bed. Good luck.

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  29. I went to secondary school in a council estate in one of the country’s wealthiest counties. Many of the kids in my classes were poor, but they were the best people, who took nothing for granted.
    I’m fortunate enough to have never lived a situation like yours, but I’ve come close – skipping meals until I can afford one, repairing my one pair of jeans after every working day because I couldn’t afford new ones (no Primark back then!), bills going unpaid… Dark days for me. So many politicians seem to have lost their grip on reality. Allocating money to fix pot holes isn’t hard. Making a speech isn’t hard. Budgeting £104 a month is hard.
    Hang in there, and best wishes with your ill health. Nobody in this age, in this nation should have to live the way you, and so many others, have to.

    Liked by 3 people

  32. Brilliant article and unfortunately so true/ I have been there and will soon be back there as my wage doesn’t cover living costs for me and my three kids who are now studying at college and want to go to uni. My mortgage (cheaper than rent) and monthly household bills are more than my monthly salary -that is without food and clothes never mind luxuries. We are currently living off child benefit and tax credits for my younger two, it has stopped for my eldest (quite rightly as he has started at uni even if I haven’t got a spare penny to help him with and he is living off 20p noodles 7hrs away from me) and it is about to stop for my middle child who wants to complete his mechanic training while doing this I will get no tax credits or child benefit for him halving the current financial help I get dropping us right back where you are.
    But at least I like you can hold my head up high and say I have scrimped and saved and missed meals to put food in front of my children and will do so again. I have also taught my children pride in earning your own money and not expecting handouts. Just to be clear I am not saying anything against them who are on benefits for genuine reasons through no fault of their own eg due to bereavement, job loss or illness etc they deserve every penny of help they can get and more. But I know of a lot of people and I am ashamed to say I am related to some of them who could work and should work but don’t, they don’t see the point as they would be no better off financially and would often be worse off working (my ex sister-in-law is a single parent three kids same as me, she was told by a jobcentre not to bother looking for work as she would be unable to find anything that would get her as much money as benefits-what a kick in the teeth to me and other single parents who works full time and struggle!). When my 3 were still at school both primary and secondary they used to beg me to quit work and go on benefits so we would have more money (which I would have got) and so they would get free school meals etc how rubbish did that make me feel. They saw all their friends whose parents didn’t work going on holiday abroad, getting brand new top of the range phones and walking around in designer clothes that we couldn’t afford (not that I did buy them on principle when I could afford them, £160 for pair of trainers- I don’t think so, £20 at most and any spare money on something more worthwhile, nice food, some house repairs or if we are really lucky a day out). I explained to my children they were my responsibility and I should work to support them not sit at home and expect other people to work and pay taxes to support us while I did nothing, they now understand this even if they are at times jealous of the extra we would have got had I gone on benefits, heating for the house probably being top of the list.
    What we need is fair livable wages I should be able to pay my bills and put food on the table with a full time wage, I don’t live an extravagant lifestyle I don’t drink or smoke, I can’t afford to go out, my house is a small ex council house and always cold as I can’t afford heating, my mobile is cheap one it gets £15 credit every 3 months if it’s lucky. My wage should cover all this without child benefit and tax credit
    but it doesn’t and herein lies the cause of todays poverty and no politician is ever going to do anything about this as like you say they and many others like Jamie Oliver etc have no idea what it is really like to live like this on such a small budget £20 is more than spend on meat for 2 weeks I bet most spend more than that for 1 meal.
    I wish I could see a way out of this poverty but I can’t so you just get on with it and make best of what you have and be grateful for it. I have 3 beautiful healthy children who make the struggle worthwhile.

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  34. This is absolutely brilliant Kathleen. I applaud you for writing it. I am currently employed but on long term sick due to anxiety and depression caused by work, yet my work doesn’t accept this and I receive stat. sick pay as long as I continue to provide them with sick notes from my doctor. They don’t seem to understand that I can’t live on £87.55 a week. I will lose my house and everything I own because they made a decision in 2013 which they can’t back up and which I don’t feel strong enough to fight at the moment.
    It’s come as a total shock to me as to how I have to live now. I won’t open a tin of tuna or beans unless I can be sure I’ll finish it, I don’t eat if I think I am going to waste food by not finishing a meal. This means I sometimes don’t eat for days at a time. Then I’ll have a day where I gorge and I feel guilty.
    I use much less of everything, which may be a good thing in the long run, but at the moment all I can envisage is a time where I can’t afford to wash my hair with shampoo or even have a cup of tea.

    Liked by 2 people

  35. I know this will probably get buried in the list of comments but I felt I had to comment.

    I’m a local Councillor in Scotland – we’re paid £16k a year, and in addition I am a freelance graphics designer…
    When my partner was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and the economy took a downturn drying up my graphics work this meant the two of us living on my councillor wage.
    Not a “poverty wage” by any extent, but not massively wealthy either.

    In the years previous, we’ve been where you are now (although no kids – I cannot imagine how much harder it must be trying to raise children under these circumstances).

    I now sit in a position of power over budgets affecting things like free school meals, which thankfully are now free for all primary 1-3 pupils but I wish were free for all, for the reasons you articulate so well. With the current funding problems, I don’t know if it’s possible, but I’m going to continue advocating it. When you’re asked to decide between cutting free fruit for school children or cancelling free music tuition 😦 How do you decide that?

    I just wanted I guess to say not all of the politicians out there are the same. Some are truly horrendous…the tories in England say some despicable things about poor folks, whilst helping their friends avoid yet more tax for their multinational companies…and their black-shirt pals in UKIP are worse, but I know that here in Scotland, some of our politicians genuinely want to do what is right and make things easier and better for those stuck at the bottom (and help them escape the poverty pit). Me, I just hope not to disappoint too many of my constituents, since my ward has some of the poorest in the country in it.

    I don’t really know where I was going with this (I’m a bit naff at making speeches I guess) but I wanted to thank you for your post….

    Made me sad….we live in such an unjust nation, where millionaires are awarded tax-breaks whilst hard-working poor folks get trampled on more, then slandered in the media.
    But if there is anything I can do, never hesitate to ask.

    Yours

    Cllr Math Campbell-Sturgess
    Scottish National Party
    Ward 3, Inverclyde Council.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. One of the biggest wastes of money? Signing on! If when you went in and were able to get some constructive help,a lead on a prospective job or at least a reply to a question,well maybe? I am unsure if anybody else has noticed the change,but my Signing on time has changed to early morning,not a problem,except it seems they have changed every ones(by that I mean the entire days appointments) we wait in line,no talking,shuffle forward,sign and go,what is the point of spending £5.20 for that, I can get 1 Kilo of Lidls Cooking Bacon £1.81 6 Loaves of bread .47p and change left over

    Liked by 1 person

  37. So sorry to read your blog, but your story is all too familiar. I do volunteer on a Foodbank, and would like to reassure you that Foodbanks (ours is part of the Trussell Trust) are completely unrelated to any part of the NHS or social services. Foodbanks are there to help people like you, and the Trussell Trust campaigns and lobbies to help people n food poverty. TT has a vast bank of statistics which are used to good effect. To be referred to a Foodbank, you do need a voucher, and each local Foodbank has it’s own agencies. You can go to the CAB ( who are also not related to Social Services) and they will be able to give you a voucher- and also to see if they can help you see if you are entitled to any other benefits, sort out utilities etc. the Foodbank will give you a warm welcome and send you home with 3 days’ worth of food for your whole family, in normal supermarket carrier babe, or you can take your own. So, please don’t go without- your local Foodbank was set up to help people like you, and provide a welcoming environment, a cuppa and a listening e ear. I hope you can soon find a way out of your situation.

    Liked by 2 people

  40. The sad reality is a meal cooked with £6 a day isn’t going to make good tv you just have to hope that these cooking programs spark our imaginations enough to make us think up our own even cheaper meal plans, its really not Jamie Olivers fault, hes not claiming to provide an answer to povity but to cook everyday family meals and perhaps encourage people to use up the left over sunday roast meat for another meal- he might pay £20 for his leg of Lamb but I bought one much cheaper in asda and did manage to do two meals out of it and feed the dog. A horrible situation to be in though maybe because of being so well off before the contrast is all so much harder to deal with 😦

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  42. We are fortunate as a family to reasonably comfortable but my heart goes out to people who like yourself are truly struggling! We have constantly explain to our children that there isn’t always money! They do get pocket money and we strive to give them a holiday every year! However life was tough for my family too when my parents lost their jobs and we lived out of jumble sales and cheap shops while my Mum went to work five jobs! I make sure in my house that they have what they need but I am quite thrifty with myself except I do smoke! My clothes are charity because I don’t feel I can just spending masses of money on them! And I could go on but I suppose what I am trying to say I really hope things improve for you and I found this to be a real honest view of the poverty in this country and it really is such a sad state of affairs that we are failing to feed and clothe the residents of this country!

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  43. I won’t watch programmes like Benefit street, they do not reflect the true situation of real people. I spent several years as a single parent (I lost my husband to cancer) I had heart disease which meant that I was too ill to get a ‘proper job’ but well enough to work as a volunteer! I spent several years living off credit cards, balancing money from one to the other, my £20 a week income support was not enough to live on( I am talking about the 1990s not 1890s!!) For many years I was too proud to claim benefits because of the social stigma….yes I am proud …..until I became ill, hit hard times….I had a lovely home, two cars, two holidays abroad a year and generally a good life.
    I never gave up.
    I dont drink, dont smoke, dont gamble. I am one of the lucky ones, after a Heart transplant in 2002 I was able to return to work full time. its been a struggle, I’ve hit many low points but never the bottom. I too have become by necessity an economic juggler, with an eye for a bargain.
    I dislike politicians, the gap between rich and poor is wider than ever, people have become selfish and greedy, half the world is starving the other half create waste food mountains. We are human, we have a responsibility to each other, to our planet. I hope I never forget this!!
    Now I will get off my soap box!!!

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  44. Pingback: The Upsetting Reality Of Modern Day Poverty. | Destination Vintage

  45. It’s high time we broke the taboo of poverty. Your blog makes a start. The silent shame felt when at the bottom lets those in a position to make changes off the hook. So we get cartoon versions of poverty like on programs such as Benefit Street and in the Daily Mail, just like we used to get wild stories about sitting on dirty toilet seats got you pregnant before we broke the sex education taboo.
    Working tax credit helped me through a difficult time, and I always praised the labour government for introducing it. The stories on here about growing up with hard working parents who hid their financial worries remind me of my childhood. However more recently tax credits have become another way to subsidise large companies by enabling them to pay less than a living wage, knowing the taxpayer will top it up with tax credits. Those are the real scroungers in this country and it’s high time we had politicians who aren’t starry eyed over big business and remembered who they are supposed to represent. Sadly I think I’m heading for a spoilt ballot paper this election.

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  46. There are many differant degrees of getting and being poor. Although not on a really livable wage I can manage, as my needs are little compared with most. I have no dependants dont drink or smoke or eat much…I have a food store cupboard stacked with stuff we never get around to eating waiting for the times we might be snowbound for a month. I have zero debts, credit cards and because of this I have zero credit worthyness, Am I worried no, I have known much worse times. Trying to raise two children on £7 per week when my rent was £3 and eating nothing but porridge myself so’s my kids could eat.

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  47. Hi I work for a charity that is responsible for a food bank. A number agencies can refer people to a food bank including school the CAB and the NHS. Most food banks now have an advice worker who will be able to offer support to ensure you get all the benefits you are entitled to. We also importantly offer tea, biscuits, others offer a meal, and hopefully we will do that soon, and someone to talk to. I too have been in the position of counting out pennies to buy food and being humiliated by the school because I didn’t have the right forms for my child to a free school dinner, having to bring her home at lunchtime, instead. How they thought that helped I’m not sure! If you want more information, contact me via Smethwick Foodbank. And yup the Jamie budget meals programme baffled me too. The one about buying a brisket of beef to stretch it for 3 meals! And yes, I tweeted him to tell him to get real. Follow A Girl Called Jack. She know how it is and her recipes are excellent.

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  48. This is an all too familiar story. The benefits system is often incredibly difficult to fathom if you are “not in the know”. It does seem that if you are in a community where there is lots of benefit claiming, you have access to information and people who know how to access funds, etc. I have rarely claimed benefits in my life, and usually for only a short period (a month or two), in June last year I came out of a contract I was working on, and haven’t been able to get work since, I am not proud and willing to work in most jobs but can’t work weekends due to having to look after my children, (I did get a job at Citylink which went bust a month later).

    We have a different issue, which means we fall in between many of the benefit gaps. When we had some money we set up a small business selling kids clothes near to us, however like many new businesses we are in a situation where the money comes in barely covers the cost of outgoings, so my partner who runs the shop cannot afford to take a wage. We cant simply shut the shop as we have another six months on the shop lease term, and so would end up owing that money to the landlord. As my partner has a business it is assumed we must be raking it in by the government, and therefore she is unable to claim any money, and we are not entitled to any income related benefits (despite being able to show we take no money out of the business!).

    We also rent our current home, but own a property where we used to live in which we in turn rent out (for slightly above the mortgage value). Due to this we cannot claim housing benefit, as we are told that we are landlords and we could just move back to our property, which as we have shown we cannot do due to the tenant in there having a 6 month lease (which the mortgage company insisted on, and so we cannot remove them before then), it is also assumed we could just sell the property, which again we cannot do without either a) losing money on the sale of the house (which wouldn’t fix the situation), and is not possible in this market (we have tried selling at the mortgage value which is below market value by 20k), or b) having to fight the tenant in court which we cannot afford.

    At the moment we have the grand total income of £72 a week from my contributions jsa. At the moment I am having to borrow money from my Mum and Dad to cover the rent and council tax so we can eat and keep somewhat warm (only one room in our house is heated), and they send us home with carrier bags of food when we see them. The only way out of this all for us seems to be to go bankrupt at which point we would lose everything, but at least get some benefits! My partner has just taken a second job (using skills she has), and I have applied for 247 jobs this last two weeks alone (ranging from admin assistant on 12k to my “real job” as an IT consultant (try lying your way through 20 years of experience and knowledge to get a low paying job!), I have applied for jobs as far north as Edinburgh, and as far south as London, willing to work full time or on short term contracts. In the last six months I estimate I have applied for 1500 jobs. Some nights I cant event sleep with worry and stress.

    So I know your pain, and those days of going hungry or cold. I hope things buck up for you soon.

    Liked by 2 people

  49. It is reassuring to read this. I get frustrated at the misconceptions and judgements associated with being poor. I work in the health service and have children we have never had much money but have strived to improve ourselves and the quality of life for our family. The reality is that we have always been one tiny step away from poverty or in poverty. As Kathleen says we do not fit the stereotype, in fact most of my colleagues would have no idea or understanding of the way I live. For the most part I am proud of my resourcefulness and I am pleased that as a family we appreciate what we have. It is humiliating though when you reach the checkout at the shop and realise that the value bread (eg) has increased by a penny and you had just enough, it isn’t nice to feel judged and marginalised. A politician once told me that I should reconsider training to be a nurse given my financial troubles, that I should aspire to do something which is within my means. With this kind of apparent stagnant evolution in class hierarchy I do wonder how anyone can be expected to understand. I am proud that I am a nurse, I am proud that I am working class. I just hope that Kathleen’s message helps people to judge a little less. Thank you for sharing.

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  50. It’s not Jamie’s fault and nor is it Russell Brand’s, or any of the other people out there who are at least trying to push the necessary discussions we all need to have as a nation – and educate about food, and provide decent school meals, and teach cookery skills to the young. Would we prefer all of our celebrity chefs to be like James Martin and just not give a shit at all?

    I really feel for you, my parents were dirt poor when I was young and I have plenty of experience of watching my mum cry about having no money as a kid, and being the one who couldn’t do the stuff the other kids could because we couldn’t afford it. My mum also couldn’t cook at all when I was little so we ate crap (which probably worked more expensive in the long run) all the time. Text from my mum last week “I wish I had known what I know now about food and cooking when you were little :(“.

    I feel like this post was emotive, powerful, important and relevant enough to stand up on it’s own, without attacking Jamie – he is almost irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, and if not, he is trying to be a small part of the solution at least, by pushing the things I mentioned in the first paragraph.

    I sincerely hope that things improve for you soon. xxx

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