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  1. I read your posts and for I understand your situation. My husband and I were early 30’s, we had purchased a 3 bedroom, 3 bath house in a really nice area. We both had great jobs and we decided to have a baby. I ended up pregnant with twins and I thought I was just having a difficult time because there were two of them. Two weeks after I delivered boy/girl twins at 28 weeks, they found out I had kidney cancer. Then the other kidney failed after they removed the first kidney and I started chemo. Meanwhile, I have two premature infants to take care of. After the chemo fried my veins, they had a hell of a time getting me on dialysis. I was down to 29 kilos and I am 5’5″, so it was not looking good for me. I also have sat on the couch with a vomit bucket. That’s when my husband walked out and I ended up moving in with my sister and her husband for 3 years because I needed help with the kids. My now ex-husband came up with the idea that my sister and her husband could have custody of the twins so he wouldn’t have to pay child support. Yes, he’s quite a gem, but I wouldn’t go along with it. Anyway, I did dialysis for 3 years because they won’t give immunosuppressives to a cancer patient until 5 years have gone by. The doctors ended up going back on that one anyway, because I was doing so poorly on dialysis they very kindly allowed my brother to give me a kidney at 4 years. (I wasn’t allowed on the donor list because of my medical history.)

    I’ve now had the transplant for 11 years and the twins are 15. I have had every possible complication and even came up with a few new ones. We sold the house we had originally owned in 2001 and I found out that while I had been so ill, my ex had invested our savings in junk tech stocks which were worthless. I had been in investment banking and he apparently thought it was quite easy to make money in investing, I mean if I could do it, it must be child’s play. Since I had been stupid enough to have a joint account with him, there was nothing I could do even though I had deposited 96% of the money. I was welcome to 50% of nothing. I managed to scrape together enough to buy an attached row house which badly needed to be remodeled (it still does) because I am on disability from my job and we get federal disability and child support. Their father is remarried to a woman who makes a ridiculous amount of money and he stays home with their 4 year old. This, after he spent almost no time with his first children. My son is quite a handful these days, pushing against any boundaries and doing only marginally average even though his test scores are off the charts. No effort is put into his schoolwork at all. I don’t have the money to send them to college, they will need scholarships. The difference between my house and their father’s is laughable and yet I don’t get much child support because my ex lied on the documents about his income that were submitted to the court. He knows that I know he lied and so I have custody and any visitation is at my sole discretion. Maybe I should have tried for more money but I used my leverage to get the kids. They don’t remember us being together at all and he doesn’t even text them on their birthday. Sorry, I don’t think about him much because he makes me angry.

    I bought both of your books and I hope other people do too. I only have health insurance because my former job is still covering me since I was an employee of good standing when I became ill, I just haven’t been in to work in over 15 years. Health Insurance is one of the advantages you have in the UK which I could very easily not have, and my medication is ungodly expensive without insurance, I wouldn’t be able to afford it at all and if I don’t take the pills every 12 hours, I would lose the transplant. I will keep you in my thoughts and I hope you won’t let the ignorant, thoughtless people who have left messages bother you. At the end of the day, they are still mean-spirited jerks and I truly believe in karma. Two forty-something women who were especially rude and condescending to my children have died in the last few years, one from a brain aneurysm at a soccer game and the other (I am totally serious) was hit by a bus. What goes around, comes around.

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