This is a post about a subject very close to home.  My home.  It is about politicians who wouldn’t know poverty if it chewed on their overpaid arses.

It’s about, in part, Jamie Oliver.

Now, to put this out there, I love Jamie.  For years and years, I idolised the man.  He taught me to cook, when I could barely operate a Pot Noodle and we lived off Smash (dehydrated potatoes) and pasta (we even overcooked that).  I would watch all his shows and learn, slowly, from the TV.  In less than a year, I was able to cook a three course meal for 15 people.  Gourmet became easy and I was soon laughing my way through 3 meat roasts and cooked-from-scratch curries.  I owe my skill in the kitchen to Jamie.  I have a lot to thank him for.

Jamie Oliver was good to watch, when I had money.  Before I had six operations, culminating in a partial mastectomy of my right breast.  He was great, before I had a heart attack–caused, in part, by the amount of strain the constant general anaesthetics put on the organ.  Before I was diagnosed with Unstable Angina (that’s the bad sort, if you’re interested.  It means there are days when rolling over in bed causes my heart to seize up and my oxygen levels to fall drastically–on these days, I can just about, with the constant administration of GTN spray, make it to the loo).  Jamie was excellent, before I had to leave a well paid job and fall back on the State and Child Tax Credits, just to help me survive.

I lived comfortably and we wanted for pretty much nothing important.  We were young, in our late twenties, with well paid good jobs and four beautiful, if a bit spoiled, children.  Life was good.

Until it wasn’t good and all I could do was watch, helplessly, as it spiralled down the pan.  I was laid out on the couch every day with a sick-bucket as my constant companion.  They don’t tell you that part–heart failure makes you puke.  A lot.  I couldn’t walk to the shop, 100m from my front door.  I had to stop and rest, sitting on my neighbours walls, every couple of feet.  Work was an impossibility.

Enter the recession.  Goodbye Hubby’s job…thank you and goodnight.  We were now, without question, in the deepest shit it was possible to get into.  Then our landlord sold the house from under us and we were homeless as well.  Luckily, we found another house and my husband found another job pretty bloody quick.  It’s important to feel as though you’re earning money and not sitting on your arse having it handed to you.  Trust me, I know this from experience; it is a major reason I started writing ‘seriously’.

My Food Budget?  About £45 a week.  That’s for five days worth of packed lunches for four people, two lunches for five at the weekend, and seven evening meals.  £45.00.  I was over the moon, when I saw Jamie had a new show on 4oD (yes, I know it’s not *new*, but I don’t watch a lot of TV).  Food on a budget, that sort of thing.  “Hooray,” I thought, “he’ll show me how to feed us all on the money I have.”

Nope.  Not a bit of it.  You see, to Jamie Oliver, a £20 shoulder of lamb is ‘cheap’, because it can do two meals and it’s not the leg, so costs less per kilo.  Two meals, Jamie?  For twenty bloody quid, I want at least four meals.  It’s a sad day when I get angry at Jamie Oliver for being a pretentious arrogant prick.

The reality of poverty is not what you might see on TV, with those delightful characters from Benefit Street (Channel 4).  It isn’t all about people, cursing loudly in the street with a fag in hand and their pyjamas on, while they scream at little 2 year-old Albie to get ‘the fuck indoors, ya little shit, or I’ll faaahkin slap ya, innit!’  It’s not sitting around on a bench with a can of Special Brew, unwashed and stinking of urine, roll-up in filthy fingers.  I don’t smoke.  I can’t afford to smoke.  I don’t know many people who can.  I have bars of soap next to my sinks and I am able to use them to good effect.  I am not dirty.  I am relatively poor.  There is a difference.  It’s not even about food banks, because I don’t know what the hell you have to do to get referred to one, but it’s complicated, a long process.  I have a fear the food banks might be linked to Social Services and I, like most of my peers, were raised to avoid them at all possible costs. (please see part 2 of this blog for details of how to find and get help from your local food bank if you need one.  I know, now, that it is not complicated and does not involve social services.)

The reality of poverty is counting the 2p & 5p coins saved in a bottle, and sending a 10 year old to buy a packet of cheap pasta and a tin of tomatoes, because it’s sort of embarrassing to have to pay with coins and count them out while there is someone behind you with a £20 note.  The reality is eating plain boiled rice and pretending to like it, so the kids don’t know there’s no other food except for what is on their plates.  The reality is having an electric meter, running always on emergency credit, because you can’t afford to get out of the cycle you’re trapped in.  It’s making the choice between putting the heating on for an hour, or going cold and being able to buy a pack of sausages and some potatoes.

The reality of relative poverty is going to the butcher and asking for a pound of mince to be separated into three bags for three meals.  You’d be amazed what I can do with mince.  The reality is going to the supermarkets just before they close, and buying all you can for a fraction of the cost, because it’s going out of date tomorrow.  That’s okay–you’re eating it tomorrow.  It’s value priced peanut butters and cheap cuts of fatty meat.  It’s poor-quality chicken and eggs from barn hens.  It’s learning to mend, reuse, recycle and go without.  It’s washing your hair with washing-up liquid, because it’s all you have until Wednesday, when the Holy Grail of Child Tax Credit hits your account and there’s £50 for shopping.

The reality of poverty is the shame of always having to say, “Sorry, I can’t afford it.”  It’s calling your mum, in tears, because there are bailiffs pounding on the door.  It’s drinking so much water you feel ill, simply so your stomach isn’t painfully empty.

So, Jamie, forgive me for not watching your show.  Forgive me for breaking up with you.  You’re as clueless, you see, as those politicians you hound into raising the school meal standards.  I can’t afford for my kids to eat school meals–not at £2 per child per day (that’s £20 I simply don’t have) and we can’t get them for free, because we’re not ‘on the dole’.  I suggest, before churning out the tripe you film, you come and spend a day in my world.  I’m so cold I can’t feel my fingers as I type this blog about poverty on a computer bought for me by a friend.  I will let you sit next to me and we’ll laugh at how you can see your breath misting in the air above my charity-shop desk.  I’ll show you which needle is used to stitch a hole in the toe of a canvas trainer.  I’ll make you a coffee, but only if you don’t have sugar–that’s a luxury we only buy in if we’re going to make a cake.  You can help me scrub some of the mould from the walls, before it takes over the house entirely.

We can do all of that.  Then, maybe, you’ll realise what poverty is.

Read More here: The Upsetting Truth…Part Two! A follow-on from this article.  Please read this BEFORE leaving comments on this page.  Many thanks.

(A quick addendum: thank you all so much for the messages of support and the overwhelming goodwill.  Answering messages, sending people to the correct links, where they can get help, is time consuming, so please be patient – I am only one person.  Please get in touch via email, if you know of organisations that could be of help to others.  I will be sure to pass all information along the line – and share it all on my Facebook page.  If you are looking for help, advice or just someone to talk to, please contact me either through email or my Facebook page HERE.  I am great at finding numbers and websites that might help.

If you would like to donate to any of the causes that have cropped up thanks to this article, please contact your local food bank, or the Trussel Trust, who will be happy for any donations you can give!

I am an author. I am Indie-Published and I sell my books through Amazon.  I am very new at it all (in the scheme of things – only 7 months old) and I have no outside help or agents to publicise me, pay me, or do any of ‘that stuff’.  I live in rented accommodation and I *do* receive a small amount from Child Tax Credits.  My husband works.  We are above the ‘cut off’ wage of £16,190 p.a and are not entitled to any more than we already claim.  While I see the goodwill behind the thousands of comments telling me to claim free meals, Working Tax Credit etc. etc, we are not entitled to them.  We live in the Grey Area of the benefit system and actually make less than those on benefits, after taxes (but the amount after taxes is not the amount used for calculations).

To do my ‘job’, which is writing, I need the computer to be able to both write and publish my work.  My work supplements my husband’s wage.  It is a necessity not a luxury.  It is the tool of my trade.  While it seems to make sense to say that my computer is a luxury, it was actually a very generous gift from a friend who was staying with us for a while, when he was made homeless after a bereavement.  That I feel the need to justify having a computer is indicative of the ‘stigma and shame’ surrounding poverty.  As though not having a TV, not having Internet, not having a computer, keeping the gas off, eating less…(the list here is endless) will somehow magically change the poverty-stricken situation into one of good times and plenty.)

My books can be found here if you are in the UK, and here if you are elsewhere in the world.  Thank you.

As so many people have asked…here is the link to the paperback version.

688 thoughts on “The Upsetting Reality Of Modern Day Poverty.”

  1. You can selfcrefer to food banks ir by your doctor. Ours xertsinly isn’t linked to social services. It is simoly there to give a helping hand to those who need it.

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  2. Hi Kathleen, l have grown up in a poverty background. After my father died when he was 33, my mum was left widowed, 2 girls aged 10 and 8, a son aged 3 and 7 months pregnant with my youngest brother. I went from being a 10 year old girl to a 10 year old adult. Taking my younger siblings to school and nursery after giving them toast for breakfast, whilst my mum went out early morning cleaning, looking for work during the day, and evening and night cleaning. Her wages were barely enough to cover the rent, gas and electric meters. Television was slot TV at 50p for 5 hrs, so most of time TV was never on. Our clothes came from hand me downs from neighbours or jumble sales. I remember us children playing out on a Sunday when other kids would be bragging about their Sunday roasts. We agreed, too ashamed to say that we had bread and jam for lunch as mum couldn’t afford anything else. As for bailiffs and rent collectors, we either had to hide behind the sofa or lock in the bathroom and keep quiet. My mum going through all that just to keep us together, and boy did we love our mum. She gave us everything money cannot buy, mainly, she LOVED us and kept us together. Now we have all grown up and have our own families, and we all learnt a valuable lesson about money and what’s important in life. I admire you totally, l do hope and pray things will pick up for you soon. Your children are lucky and very rich in the love you have for them. Go to the food banks, they will make sure that you will all eat well for 3-4 days at least. Good luck Kathleen, I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

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    2. so nice to read, really, the electric and gas always in emergency and heating or food. Not just us then. Makes our situation less scary knowing we are struggling with other people. p.s You can make a curry pot noodle go for two adults if you mix in rice. 🙂

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    3. o…m….g…I have been really moved by your story… and I do hope one day the Fortune will smile at you again.
      Re..school meals..please enquire at your school. You don’t have to be on a dole to qualify. And I am not sure how old your children are, but all Key Stage 1 kids are entitled to free hot dinners now..as far as I know everywhere in England. This should be extended to Key Stage 2 as well soon.

      btw. you have a proper writing talent girl!!!!! use it!!!! Write a book. Seriously. reading your blog I was crying and laughing at the same time.
      good luck
      Aneta

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for the compliment 🙂 I love writing and it us a passion I am fortunate enough to be able to use as a means of income, since regular work is now an impossibility. I do have two books available on amazon right now, with two more due out this year. I’m hopeful that it will ease the strain, if not make me rich 😉
        Thank you again x

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    4. I don’t agree with what people think poverty actually is in this country. This article is describing hardship NOT poverty. I understand hardship, I have lived just like this lady is explaining at some point (thankfully not now) I have sat there with no electric for the night, until our wage is paid the next day and the cycle of scrimping, doing without and having to find excellent budgeting skills from somewhere starts all over again. Poverty is not taking 5p’s to your local to buy pasta and tomatoes for tea or plain rice. Property is not compromising between heating and food this is all hardship.

      Poverty is living in the slums, having no choice of being able to walk into a charity shop to buy warm, cheap clothes or having the luxury of family passing down outgrown clothing on to you.

      Poverty is about not having fresh, clean water that magically pours out of a tap. Poverty is about hope and praying to god that aid will come your way, and you will be so grateful for that cup of plain rice. Poverty is about watching your loved one’s and more heartbreakingly your children be in pain or die because you have no means of medical help or medication. Poverty is about not being able to provide Breast milk to your new born hungry baby due to malnutrition.

      I am sorry but when I hear people confuse poverty for hardship in this country it really riles me. I can air my opinion on this subject as I have experienced everything that’s written here. While my children had warm clothes to wear I didn’t mind turning the heating off to buy tea that night because they could put extra clothing on, after all our ancestors didn’t have heating and the winters were much harsher in those days. I didn’t mind taking coins to the shop and buying basics at least I had access to food. I didn’t mind that I had to say no to my children when they wanted expensive things. As long as I could walk into a hospital if they were unwell and knew it didn’t matter what I have in my purse, they will be given the medication and care they require FREE!

      I do agree with the point made about the people we see on TV smoking fags! drinking, not working and going to the food banks and that isn’t hardship! Hardship comes to good family’s who do work and pay into the tax system so much with the little they earn that this is what they are left with at the end of the week.

      I still sometimes buy food from the “prices slashed shelf” to this day, not because I have to but because I hate waste and I am very mindful of my hardship days and like to watch my pennies.

      If we had so much “poverty” in this country why do people risk their lives travelling here in such desperate ways for a better life??

      Life is hard and unfair I agree, hardship is very difficult but please don’t confuse it with poverty which is a very strong word with meaning not many here will understand as we haven’t experienced it.

      And for the record…..

      I never ever sent my children to the shop with a handful of coins that I was lucky enough to have in my money box, because I was too embarrassed… I went myself!

      I do like Jamie, not because he cooks a £20 leg of lamb that will be too expensive for some people. Simply because he is a honest, hard working family man who has fought to change the way our kids are fed, everything he stands for is so true, after all have you seen what’s in chicken nuggets?

      I do wish you health, happiness and peace in your life.
      X

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      1. think your missing the point of the story by being some what pedantic. the term poverty actually means;- the state of one who is lacking a certain amount of material possessions or wealth, it is a multi-faceted concept and can be chronic or temporary or indeed absolute, which is the state which you refer to! the fact is it may have affected your life but this isn’t your story it is kathleen’s, very real life. Its great that you no longer live that way but do you really have to chastise someone who is currently going through it yet still has the grace to refuse charity and direct it towards others. And yes while it is great that jamie oliver continues to campaign for better food standards lets just all hope and pray we can all afford the quality alternatives that will replace these items, the food processing business is age old and for the most part foods are bulked out with vegetarian ingredients (ie rusk). maybe rather than concentrating your annoyance towards the writer turn your thoughts to the politics behind the story!

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      2. I disagree in a way with what you are saying.
        I think there is more than one type of poverty, the problem is with being here than being in a country that has nothing and is less evolved is that they don’t know any better than what they have, they don’t have TV’s to see all the luxury items a person should have to survive and that is the way of their life. Yes it is terrible I agree, and I wish it didn’t exist but that does not mean to say that a person staying in not such a third world country isn’t living in poverty. We see what people have around us that is better and we see the selfishness and greed of others. It’s just two completely different ends of the spectrum.
        I grew up worse than that and it was not my choice there for it was poverty, just how it’s not their choice that they don’t have those things. You are probably less likely to survive in a first world country if you have the problems of a third world country because you would freeze to death in one night if you have no clothes to wear, there for you have to scrape by no matter what. They are trying to scrape by no matter what just like us and its not any different it’s just one extreme to the other. Also if our country cant even help the lives of the people we have here then what are the hopes that they are going to magically fix theirs?

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      3. Poverty is relative. its a matter of perspective. here in the western world, we have reached a stage in social evolution whereby NO ONE should have to live in dire straits. So yes, this woman IS living in poverty by our own self employed social standardization. What you refer to as poverty, is that which exists in undeveloped countries. As i said…its all relative. We live in a civilized nation ergo what this woman describes IS POVERTY. Try to have some compassion

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      4. Sharon… (for the record) Kathleen’s story is a damning portrayal of life in Britain 2015, social safety nets shredded, poverty is the state of being extremely poor,.hardship comes under that banner… any one in that situation needs support not chastisement from someone who says they used to be in that situation and now buys cheap food at times , mentions turning heating down when kids have warm clothes, some dont have warm clothes…people come to this country as they look to find work and live in a society without war as most immigrants have done for time immemorial, (most pay up to $10,000 to get here)…Kathleen knows as do most who suffer poverty what it means as thousands of families in Britain are living in “abject poverty” penury, destitution, indigence, pennilessness, privation, deprivation, impoverishment, neediness, need, want, hardship, impecuniousness, impecuniosity, hand-to-mouth existence, beggary, pauperism, straitened circumstances, bankruptcy, insolvency; all come under “Poverty” Sharon to identify that you have “been there” and leave those remarks shows to me you had hardship but never had “abject poverty” as so many including Kathleen suffered..

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      5. It is completely unrealistic to compare poverty in an LEDC to that of an MEDC – just because there aren’t slums in Britain doesn’t mean there isn’t poverty.
        The UK is one of the wealthiest countries in the world, with an average standard of living much higher than that of a nation with significantly less wealth. It is, therefore, poverty to be living at a standard much below the national average, relative to a country’s wealth. There is no reason, in the UK, for anyone to not have a decent standard of living – whether that be a roof over your head, food for your family, or energy to keep you warm.

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    5. You are amazing. i honestly wish i had the honor of knowing you and your family. After reading this i will think twice about buying the more expensive things & donating more to charity. You have inspired me and i think your an amazing woman. From now on i will be counting my blessings everyday, because as you have proved you have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow. I wish you and your family the total best ❤ x

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    6. Dear Kathleen – I believe in all sincerity that each of us should be willing to accept kindness… it is the gift to the giver. I recognise your world – I dip in and out of similar and better. Currently on emergency gas and electricity but thankfully today is pay day – I work part time as a waitress on minimum wage and can exist. But I really don’t want to only exist – I want to live, love, laugh, enjoy and want the same for you and everyone else. We get this one life and it is hindered by state and circumstance.

      I see no shame in poverty – we didn’t make it! We bailed out bloody banks with our taxes that should have been paying for the NHS, education, social need. Have you considered a ‘tip jar’ so that readers of your wonderful words can say thank you? Or maybe cluster together a few pieces of your writing into a little PDF document and make it available in an online shop (I have done this http://tinalouiseuk.blogspot.co.uk/p/to-buy-murmurings.html – not made more than a sale but it’s a start).

      I cared for my mum who went through some of the health issues you face and so many of us want to ease each others’ unfair suffering – I do hope you allow people to rejoice in giving xxx

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  4. So sorry to hear your story.

    It does really hit home how important income protection or critical illness cover can be in these situations.

    The 7families campaign also shows this. I offer free advice on this but won’t leave my details as the purpose of my comment was not to ‘make a sale’, just highlight an increAsing gap in the UK protection industry.

    Imagin if you had £100k pay out when you fell ill or a £1000 monthly benefit.

    Makes a huge difference in these awful scenarios. Maybe Jamir would be well liked too.

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    1. Mickey, you don’t get it…. What if you cant afford the premiums. What if you are sick and the insurance company keeps putting the premiums up coz you claim. 5 or 6 years moratorium they want…They are not a charity but a profit making company. Its not a golden goose. People these days cant afford the luxury of critical illness or income protection. They are lucky if they have an income, and can survive on it, thanks to crippling/spiralling inflationary pricing brought about by our glorious bank sponsoring leaders.

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    1. Having a mum living in a run down council estate, filled with those people who think it’s acceptable to loiter in the streets, in the pyjamas, screaming at half naked filthy infants, smoking, their staffies running wild, the smell of dope floating like a miasma up to the higher balconies…There is nothing else that adequately describes them.
      I do not mean to imply “poor people” are common. Not at all. But the face of poverty as portrayed on and in the media focuses entirely on those for whom ‘common’ is about the best description.

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      1. You clearly take your knowledge of ‘common people’ from shameless and the like and consider them all to be feckless, drug taking morality-free individuals on the fiddle and with no standards. The ‘working class’ -which I think is the label you are looking for – are people just like us. Your ‘there’s poor like me, then there’s poor people like them’ attitude betrays an unpleasant snobbery that completely undermines your whole piece.

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        1. No. I don’t mean working class. The people I refer to are not working. They do not want to work either (most do, they are not the ones to whom I refer). I am saying that the working classes are labeled and tarred with the same brush as the ‘scrounger class’ who avoid work, have no intention to work, and will likely never be forced to work.
          When poverty is portrayed on TV and in the media, it is those who will not work and have intention of getting a job who are portrayed. This means that the population as a whole is then subjected to a barrage of media depicting anyone below the poverty line as a “scrounger”. This suits the agenda of the leading political parties and absolves the blame that may be directed at an indifferent prime minister. It means that “making do” is seen as a virtue. It means that the poor are expected to have no phone, no TV, no Internet, second hand clothes, never to drink or go out and socialse.
          It leads to the comments such as ‘if you got rid of your computer, you wouldn’t need to pay for broadband’. If I got rid of my computer, as an INDIE author, I would be losing my career.
          In short, the depiction of those in need, as characters from shows such as Benefit Street, has led to a total misunderstanding of the true face of those on Tax Credit, for example.

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  8. Not all foodbanks are connected to social services, I know my local one in rugby, Warwickshire would not turn you away so please don’t fear of being reported to s.service because you are on low income and need to use a food bank. It’s a way of providing for you and your children, no shame.xxx

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  9. i cannot love this story enough, it echoes my own entirely, i have felt the same sense of what the hell when Jamie spouts off about ” cheap” cuts of lamb, i do not remember the last time i bought lamb. the removal from reality is astounding . thank you so much for this . everything you said, the meter constantly on emergency , the joys of mince, mince, mince….just so spot on

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  10. Your doctor could refer you to a foodbank. You are exactly the sort of family that people want to get the stuff they donate. Please overcome your reluctance and admit to your doctor that you are stuck in a bad place at the moment. I’ll make sure, that on the days I shop and don’t donate, I have a very good reason. Also tell your MP about how you are living. Lots of them do care despite the brush they’re all tarred with. (A bit like the scroungers you refer to 🙂 – a lot of press hype.) Good luck and thank you for your reminder about my own luck.

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  11. HI Kathleen, I really sympathise with your situation. ‘A Girl Called Jack’ has been publishing genuinely budget recipes for a while now that you might find helpful, she has a blog and a facebook page. I believe your GP should also be able to refer you to the local foodbank, Try to take care of yourself!

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  13. You’d be surprised who can get free school meals. Id call the school or your local council to enquire. Plenty of parents who are earning get them for their children.

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  14. Hi Kathleen. Totally agree that Jamoe Olive’s ‘skint’ meals are still too expensive. Amanda above mentioned A Girl called Jack. I recommend her tto. She diesn’t assume you have a cupboard full of ingredients she counts the cost of herbs used. She has a Facebook page. Best wishes

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  15. Truest account of modern day poverty I have ever read. Brought a tear to my eye and unfortunately to many people are suffering this problem.

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  16. Echoes of my life! Luckily my children are grown and flown but sad I can’t help them. The cold drags you down especially with disabilities (Hubby really feels the cold with his many problems). You express yourself well and I wish you all the luck in the world with your writing.

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  17. I have been in tears reading this! I have been there. Wondering weather to eat or weather the already too short in the leg trousers can last another fortnight on two growing children. While the budget had to stretch to accommodate £7 bus fair to travel the 16 mile round trip to the jobcentre each fortnight. I hope you can overcome your unlucky misfortune. All the best xx

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  18. Jamie is not responsible for severe poverty. His intentions are good and his ideas will help the majority of people that wish to stretch their budgets, but not everyone. I’m truly sorry for your situation but to be so scathing towards him is a little misdirected in my mind.

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  19. I work for with a charity called Christians Against Poverty (CAP), who offer free debt help in your home. Martin Lewis (money saving expert) really rates our work. From the mention of balifs it sounds like you could benefit from free advice.
    https://capuk.org
    I agree with other foodbank comments, they are there to help and schools and doctors can refer. You can find a nearby one at http://www.trussletrust.org. (there are also other foodbank providers).
    A good website to check you are getting what you are entitled to benefits wise is
    http://Www.entitledto.co.uk. I hope you have a nearby library where you can get online.
    sadly I see stories like yours everyday, I hope you will get the help you need.

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  20. i so know where you’re coming from , i grew up in relative comfort and when i left my first husband came face to face with poverty – i was mortified , and clueless , i remember being eligible for free food from the euro food mountains and crying because i had enough food for a semi decent meal for my kids, there was an upside , since i have allergies i lost a hell of a lot of weight – then i found one of the most useful little books ever – it helped me through the bad times and even now i find it invaluable – no – not a religious tract – it was a wartime make do and mend book – with recipes – recipes that didn’t call for chunks of meat that cost the earth – then they had to get by with what was available – and by god did it open my eyes – mince goes further with the addition of a handful of porridge oats ( and when a gravy cube is added makes a very rich filling gravy ) or rice – that one has saved my life on many occasion. in fact i still use the tricks i learnt – i may have more money now – but if i spend on silly stuff i’ll soon be back at square one – been there once – not going there again . good luck hunny – hopefully things will brighten for you soon xxx

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  21. Loved reading this today, made me feel no quite so alone out there in this world, I am at the moment feeling privaledged that I have a washing machine, can’t aford to use it today but at least I have one, my 4 yr old asked me to go shopping today and get some clean bananas as the ones we have are brown, but they we’re yesterday’s sell off, she’ll not no the difference once there peeled. But like your selves to proud to ask for help, eBay has become my best friend because I can sell the kids old clothes that no longer fit and buy them something new (we’ll second hand new) there young they don’t no the difference. Good luck to all on this blog and god blesss, here’s to better days ahead xxx

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  22. I really appreciate this post. I come from a family where the choice that has to be made everyday is ‘food or…?’ All week I have heard how unemployment is down and wages are going up- which is great for those it graces but it whitewashes the struggle so many of us are still facing. I hope more can find a way to write like this and let the voices be heard.

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  23. You shouldn’t have to eat plain rice. You know those asda smart price chicken stock cubes? They’re only 10p a pack, but if you boil the rice up with one or two of them it’s actually pretty tasty. More expensive stock cubes don’t work, weirdly. They taste kind of gross, probably because they’re made of more than salt and chicken flavouring. If you’re feeling flush, add a handful of frozen peas or sweetcorn, it’s not a bad meal for when you’re struggling with money. The 9p packet ‘custard’ also makes an Ok, dessert. Especially at the end of summer when you can get your kids to go pick blackberries to go with it. I know all this because I’m also too sick to work! Good luck.

    Liked by 2 people

  24. If you are going through such a tough time Why not sell the goods you don’t need to provide for your family e.g your computer, and accept help from friends and family. You won’t be deemed a charity case. You can also contact saint Vincent de paul for help, you can just walk into a food bank.. you are suffering an illness so you are well entitled to claim your credits back on the sole because you have been a working class person up until you fell ill.
    I have been in this situation before, except i had no one around me, i was 22 years old.. i had fallen out with my family, split with my ex because he liked to get his needs elsewhere.. inlcuding our apartment. . So yes i lost everything while battling with a heart murmur amongst other other things. Its hard i know but theer are ways out there and rimes you do have to accept help from people rather than sitting blogging.. we know the world is a cruel place and politicians gave is all and screws us over.. but you need to make changed for yourself and you will do that. I had to sell many of my possessions to get by, i applied for every job i could apply to.. i tried everything,
    5 years later i on im back with my family in my hometown, im working, i dont have a lot of money but im happy with what i get.. because i keep trying.
    I have went back to college and studied an accounts course to try a new career psth..
    All i say us dont give up, but sell your vomputer because thst will put food on your table for your kids.. what about their fsther if hes with you he should be providing aswell, he should work 2 jobs to get you by..
    Im a firm believer of not venting your anger out online for a sympathy vote to be honest.. a lot of people are in your situation but not complaining.

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    1. As I have previously stated, I am an author. My computer is the tool of my trade and is what makes my income. To say I should sell it is much like telling a plumber to sell his tools.
      My husband works and works hard. I work 14 hour days, writing, publishing, and selling my books.
      The point is not to garner a sympathy vote, but to raise awareness of the hidden poor.

      Like

  25. Oh Kathleen, your post really resonated with me.
    I, too, am where you are at now. I left my husband (after he replaced me with a 22 year old), and struggled to find affordable rental for myself and two sons and dog as well as a job which pays anything like a living wage (I work in a secretarial position for minimum wage which sticks in my craw!) The area of the country I live in, is notoriously dreadful for jobs and I apply for everything going, just to feel as though I am moving forward. The only consolation is that my children are making good progress, in good schools and I am reluctant to uproot them at this stage in their lives.
    I, too, have become a dab hand at “making ends meet” and can often be seen lurking around the aisles when the bread, milk and meat have been marked down, just to give a bit of variety to our meals. I also buy frozen everything… from vegetables to meat to chicken… because I hate the idea of throwing anything away, if they go off. I have also become best friends with my slow cooker (uses less electricity and you can make even the most unpalatable cuts of meat softer if cooked for longer). Butchers are reluctant to hand out bones, unless you claim it is for the dog, and even then they aren’t too keen. Rice and pasta and bread are all familiar and I have taken to making a flour based frying pan bread my mother used to make when we were children, to eke out the food. My children see it as a treat, never knowing that it is because a loaf of bread was just beyond our reach this week.
    I cannot qualify for benefits, due to the fact that we have a property (on the market) which is let out and it just feels like life is an endless grind. Christmas was difficult too – my youngest (knowing our financial situation) was realistic in his gift requests from me, but asked “Santa” for an expensive piece of Lego. Through some careful juggling (a long forgotten Amazon gift card)… Santa came good and his childhood preserved for another year.
    Thank you for highlighting this issue.
    I salute you, as well as countless others who are quietly, determinedly going about our daily lives, under the radar. Not demanding more than our fair share, not complaining about our lot, merely getting by and making ends meet and hoping for better days.

    Liked by 2 people

  28. People are divided about whether a donate button (you get it from paypal) will aid or harm your blog. Another option you could look at – because your writing is great – is Patreon. That allows people to sponsor you to keep on doing what you are doing, and offer regular support. There is a FAQ here for them: http://www.patreon.com/faq

    Liked by 1 person

  29. hi
    I was extremely poor for a very long time (hasn’t changed much, dinner last night was dry crackers with pickle, as it’s all we had in the cupboard). But … Recipe ideas .. Pork sausage meat with a little sage and onion, maybe if feeling a bit flush .. A couple of boiled eggs, wrapped in home made pastry and baked until golden .. Poor mans pie but very filling. Or one fish portion to go between 6 people .. Boil rice with fish stock cube and a few herbs, flake up the fish portion and add frozen veg, simmer until stock is absorbed .. But mostly .. Just experiment … The failures make amusing family stories while sitting under duvets, sharing a bed as body heat is better than no heating 😃

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  30. Kathleen our church has a food bank. No religion needed, your case is exactly the kind that would be supported. Contact your local churches. Also, Sikh temples always have free food on offer. They cook full meals and usually operate cafe/ restaurant style. Please contact them, they would love to help out. I hope things pick up soon, you have been through such a tough time. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Thank you for sharing this experience. I hope the spreading of it helps you overcome your situation. Reading some of the comments I’m disappointed that some people didn’t grasp what was, for me, the real message:
    That this could happen to anyone and that the treatment of people in poverty by the media and the Government is respectively trivial and punitive.

    As long as TV airs Reality shows about ‘scroungers’ for our ‘entertainment’, Governments will get away with introducing sweeping measures that cause suffering for already struggling families in the name of tackling benefit scrounging. Whilst there is no doubt that for some, it is a lifestyle. It is not always a ‘lifestyle choice’.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Thank you for writing this it was good to read something that showed the reality of living in poverty. Despite what some people might think it IS poverty when you can’t afford to heat your house, buy your child a new coat or have to glue their shoes back together because you can’t afford to replace the ones they have.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. I’m on benefits and that’s because I’m disabled and spend most of my life on my bed. I have had people say to me to go to the food banks but I can’t in good conciounce do that. Because I get disability benefit which I do need and pays for so much extra that I need I know I am so much better off than some people who work. The food bank is there for people like you and I’m pretty sure you don’t have any links to social services with them. Contact your local church. They should know how to get there. Also where you pay your council tax, housing benefit is usually there. I know they give out vouchers to people in need there. You are doing an amazing job. And yes there might well be people worse off than you, but please accept some of what people offer you. As you are working hard to pull yourself up accept the small helping hands that are reaching out to you. We are trying to get off benefits via permitted work. My hubby has fibromyalgia so is trying to set up a business as he can’t physically be available for normal working hours. So thhis year is his last chance to get his business working. We don’t get much practical help and I can’t start my business because only 1 of us are allowed to do it because we are on benefits. Anyway good luck and God bless you as you try to pull yourself out of this poverty xx

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Kathleen I know exactly how you feel. I suffer from mental health issues and have been going to a local church that run self esteem courses etc and also a foodbank, by going there I have seen people just like you who are struggling to eat nevermind make ends meet.
    My partner has recently lost his job and I have found myself in the position of needing the foodbank so I can feed my 3 kids, my partner and myself. I had to swallow my pride cuz I would rather my kids eat.
    My heart goes out to you and I love that you are sharing your experiences because it helps people like me to know that I am not alone in this struggle xx

    Like

  37. I disagree with the food bank part. Food banks have helped me out a great deal when I’ve needed it. It’s not a long process at all, just call up the health visitor or doctor and there you go! I’ve never had social services after me when I’m referred. And even if they did, social services aren’t bad people, they are there to make sure everything is okay, they just do an assessment and if everything is okay, they leave. I’ve had them visit me due to depression and that’s all there is too it. But I understand your post. I am always in emergency credit for my meter. My freezer is my life saver. Always grab the meat if it’s on offer and freeze it!! Plus, with fruit and veg vouchers it’s easy. I’ve got meat in the freezer, then I pop to the supermarket to grab my fruit and veg. I live on £40 and it’s easy if you shop smart and plan ahead 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Wow, this is just so sad, I have tears running down my face. it’s reading things like this that make me feel guilty when we put stuff into the trolley for the foodbank. We’re fortunate to have good health and good jobs and so can afford to donate. Please make yourself go to your local foodbank, even if it’s just for your children, it’s why we put stuff in there, because we care about our fellow man. We’re not religious, we have no agenda, like most donators we’re just trying to help out some people who don’t have our “luck.”
    Good luck with your writing, hope it works out for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. You’re a writer – you could write an alternative to Jamie Oliver’s cookery book – compiling budget recipes from War era, Indian/Middle Eastern vegetarian cookery/ budget students etc and money savings tips. Such a book is badly needed. It would go down a storm on kindle/ebooks etc.

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  40. Pingback: Look What Has Happened To The Maternity Experience Under Privatisation | ukgovernmentwatch

  41. Hello, thank you for writing this. I’m crying and crying now (because I’m 39 weeks pregnant and it was so well written). Its so true. So so so true. With love and big kisses. And thanks to all our clever clever strong mums everywhere. Xxxx

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  42. am i missing something or did your last post before this not talk about travelling to cardiff, spending “serious” cash in the mall, and going to the doctor who experience (£14 per person)?

    Like

    1. Yes that is what I put, you may have also read that it was for my daughters 16th birthday. We had saved for a while and my mum also chipped so we could give her a great birthday weekend.

      Like

    2. I did not spend serious money in the malls, no. And yes, for my daughters 16th birthday, after saving since October, and with my first royalty payment, we went to Cardiff and stayed in a backpacker hostel. We saw Doctor Who and enjoyed the experience. We do not have holidays. My last was at a haven campsite in 2006, for 4 days. I am permitted to save and take my daughter to somewhere she dreamed of going since it opened. I left my husband and other three children behind. My mother helped with the cost.
      I am sorry you feel I have to justify a weekend that cost £200 all in. I am sorry I could not afford to pay £44 to go into Cardiff Castle. If I had it in my purse, I’d have gone.

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  43. This resonates a lot With my own childhood as do many of the comments. I hope your writing career is successful as you are spreading a message that needs to be heard. All I can say in support of you is that you are not alone and those of us who understand in some way your plight are of generous nature. I’m sometimes amazed at how poverty stricken communities can come together in acts of kindness to help eachother- a £1 here, an hour there. Lean when you can lean, support when you can support. I hope it gets better for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Very fair article & i’m much in agreement. However one sentence caught my eye: “…because there are bailiffs pounding on the door, because the BBC demand a license fee.”.
    If you’re struggling so much, sell your TV. Suddenly you have a fair bit of money at the expense of losing a non-necessity.

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    1. The TV licence part happened at the end of Spring last year. It does not mean it is happening now 🙂
      My children also have very little else they can do outside of free school run clubs. Why should I sell the only tv in the house for the sake of £12 a month? What is wrong is the ‘idea’ that I should have to sell the TV, go without everything, just to put food on the table when we are a working family.

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  45. in an afterthought there is an Internet movement at the moment around sourcing fresh fruit which is in free parks etc. ‘Neighbourhood fruit’ is one such website. I use it in summer. It maps all the local public fruit spots. Also as a child I used to help out at local allotments and recieve the odd bag of veggies as well as learning lots about gardening. These aren’t exactly solutions but many don’t know about these small projects which can produce small offerings where there may have been none.

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  46. We are in this position, if not worse. I find the way the blogger says that she has been offered giftings from people and rejected them, a case of pride. We are absolutely DESPERATE for a new house. Our story makes this look mild (no disrespect at all, intended to her illness), and I am not proud at all. If I thought I could use the media to help us gain either real time help or a home, such as those programmes that gift a home to those that have overcome severe trauma, I would apply, but our story holds a dark secret that can’t be shared as we are protected witnesses against a very bad man. We use fake names online and now live elsewhere and the property they rehoused us in is chronic. As a carer of a disabled daughter, my own health declined severely due to damp and mould and walls literally falling off causing 11 hospital admissions last year including suspected stroke and confirmed carbon monoxide poisoning I will receive and embrace both prayers and real time help from anyone kind enough to reach and bless our unfortunate situation. Do I feel sorry for myself? Actually yes I do. We lost our beautiful home of ten years and all belongings and I thank God for hope because it’s what keeps us going. Pictured is the council house they gave us which we can’t get out of at this time. This is a sincere and genuine post.

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  47. Jack Monroe’s cookery book (and stuff on her blog) are really good for those of us with no money. She could teach jamie a thing or two about cooking on a budget, and then some!

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  49. Touching story and a real insight into reality.
    I am a British born Sikh and your local Gurdwara (Sikh temple) is there to help. They offer a service called langar, which is basically a free meal for all. As Sikh’s we believe everyone is equal and everyone should be fed. Worshippers donate money and food daily and this is used by volunteers in the kitchen to prepare hot food for all who visit. Over the years I have witnessed people from all walks of life sharing a meal with me in the langar Hall. All you need to do is cover your hair (bandanas and shawls provided at most), not be under the influence and be hungry! The volunteer cooks are usually aunties with a wealth of cooking experience so if you love vegetarian Indian food then it’s a winner. A common misconception is that you won’t feel welcome or it will be embarrassing but there is nothing to worry about. The whole point is that everyone is equal so prince and pauper sit side by side on the floor when eating. And also why not go and spend some time in the prayer Hall afterwards? I could sit there for hours meditating, even though I don’t understand half of what is being said (most now have English translations on screens)

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  50. Kathleen. I agree completely with your description of the ‘poor’ who have no jntentions of working. That’s not why I commented though. Please let me know how I can help. By buying your book you will only receive a fraction of the money.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, and yes, I do only receive a percentage but I am hopeful that with enough sales, and my husbands wage things will begin to turn a corner. I really do appreciate all the offers of help, all the advice and most of all the support. Thank you, truly.

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