This is a post about a subject very close to home.  My home.  It is about politicians who wouldn’t know poverty if it chewed on their overpaid arses.

It’s about, in part, Jamie Oliver.

Now, to put this out there, I love Jamie.  For years and years, I idolised the man.  He taught me to cook, when I could barely operate a Pot Noodle and we lived off Smash (dehydrated potatoes) and pasta (we even overcooked that).  I would watch all his shows and learn, slowly, from the TV.  In less than a year, I was able to cook a three course meal for 15 people.  Gourmet became easy and I was soon laughing my way through 3 meat roasts and cooked-from-scratch curries.  I owe my skill in the kitchen to Jamie.  I have a lot to thank him for.

Jamie Oliver was good to watch, when I had money.  Before I had six operations, culminating in a partial mastectomy of my right breast.  He was great, before I had a heart attack–caused, in part, by the amount of strain the constant general anaesthetics put on the organ.  Before I was diagnosed with Unstable Angina (that’s the bad sort, if you’re interested.  It means there are days when rolling over in bed causes my heart to seize up and my oxygen levels to fall drastically–on these days, I can just about, with the constant administration of GTN spray, make it to the loo).  Jamie was excellent, before I had to leave a well paid job and fall back on the State and Child Tax Credits, just to help me survive.

I lived comfortably and we wanted for pretty much nothing important.  We were young, in our late twenties, with well paid good jobs and four beautiful, if a bit spoiled, children.  Life was good.

Until it wasn’t good and all I could do was watch, helplessly, as it spiralled down the pan.  I was laid out on the couch every day with a sick-bucket as my constant companion.  They don’t tell you that part–heart failure makes you puke.  A lot.  I couldn’t walk to the shop, 100m from my front door.  I had to stop and rest, sitting on my neighbours walls, every couple of feet.  Work was an impossibility.

Enter the recession.  Goodbye Hubby’s job…thank you and goodnight.  We were now, without question, in the deepest shit it was possible to get into.  Then our landlord sold the house from under us and we were homeless as well.  Luckily, we found another house and my husband found another job pretty bloody quick.  It’s important to feel as though you’re earning money and not sitting on your arse having it handed to you.  Trust me, I know this from experience; it is a major reason I started writing ‘seriously’.

My Food Budget?  About £45 a week.  That’s for five days worth of packed lunches for four people, two lunches for five at the weekend, and seven evening meals.  £45.00.  I was over the moon, when I saw Jamie had a new show on 4oD (yes, I know it’s not *new*, but I don’t watch a lot of TV).  Food on a budget, that sort of thing.  “Hooray,” I thought, “he’ll show me how to feed us all on the money I have.”

Nope.  Not a bit of it.  You see, to Jamie Oliver, a £20 shoulder of lamb is ‘cheap’, because it can do two meals and it’s not the leg, so costs less per kilo.  Two meals, Jamie?  For twenty bloody quid, I want at least four meals.  It’s a sad day when I get angry at Jamie Oliver for being a pretentious arrogant prick.

The reality of poverty is not what you might see on TV, with those delightful characters from Benefit Street (Channel 4).  It isn’t all about people, cursing loudly in the street with a fag in hand and their pyjamas on, while they scream at little 2 year-old Albie to get ‘the fuck indoors, ya little shit, or I’ll faaahkin slap ya, innit!’  It’s not sitting around on a bench with a can of Special Brew, unwashed and stinking of urine, roll-up in filthy fingers.  I don’t smoke.  I can’t afford to smoke.  I don’t know many people who can.  I have bars of soap next to my sinks and I am able to use them to good effect.  I am not dirty.  I am relatively poor.  There is a difference.  It’s not even about food banks, because I don’t know what the hell you have to do to get referred to one, but it’s complicated, a long process.  I have a fear the food banks might be linked to Social Services and I, like most of my peers, were raised to avoid them at all possible costs. (please see part 2 of this blog for details of how to find and get help from your local food bank if you need one.  I know, now, that it is not complicated and does not involve social services.)

The reality of poverty is counting the 2p & 5p coins saved in a bottle, and sending a 10 year old to buy a packet of cheap pasta and a tin of tomatoes, because it’s sort of embarrassing to have to pay with coins and count them out while there is someone behind you with a £20 note.  The reality is eating plain boiled rice and pretending to like it, so the kids don’t know there’s no other food except for what is on their plates.  The reality is having an electric meter, running always on emergency credit, because you can’t afford to get out of the cycle you’re trapped in.  It’s making the choice between putting the heating on for an hour, or going cold and being able to buy a pack of sausages and some potatoes.

The reality of relative poverty is going to the butcher and asking for a pound of mince to be separated into three bags for three meals.  You’d be amazed what I can do with mince.  The reality is going to the supermarkets just before they close, and buying all you can for a fraction of the cost, because it’s going out of date tomorrow.  That’s okay–you’re eating it tomorrow.  It’s value priced peanut butters and cheap cuts of fatty meat.  It’s poor-quality chicken and eggs from barn hens.  It’s learning to mend, reuse, recycle and go without.  It’s washing your hair with washing-up liquid, because it’s all you have until Wednesday, when the Holy Grail of Child Tax Credit hits your account and there’s £50 for shopping.

The reality of poverty is the shame of always having to say, “Sorry, I can’t afford it.”  It’s calling your mum, in tears, because there are bailiffs pounding on the door.  It’s drinking so much water you feel ill, simply so your stomach isn’t painfully empty.

So, Jamie, forgive me for not watching your show.  Forgive me for breaking up with you.  You’re as clueless, you see, as those politicians you hound into raising the school meal standards.  I can’t afford for my kids to eat school meals–not at £2 per child per day (that’s £20 I simply don’t have) and we can’t get them for free, because we’re not ‘on the dole’.  I suggest, before churning out the tripe you film, you come and spend a day in my world.  I’m so cold I can’t feel my fingers as I type this blog about poverty on a computer bought for me by a friend.  I will let you sit next to me and we’ll laugh at how you can see your breath misting in the air above my charity-shop desk.  I’ll show you which needle is used to stitch a hole in the toe of a canvas trainer.  I’ll make you a coffee, but only if you don’t have sugar–that’s a luxury we only buy in if we’re going to make a cake.  You can help me scrub some of the mould from the walls, before it takes over the house entirely.

We can do all of that.  Then, maybe, you’ll realise what poverty is.

Read More here: The Upsetting Truth…Part Two! A follow-on from this article.  Please read this BEFORE leaving comments on this page.  Many thanks.

(A quick addendum: thank you all so much for the messages of support and the overwhelming goodwill.  Answering messages, sending people to the correct links, where they can get help, is time consuming, so please be patient – I am only one person.  Please get in touch via email, if you know of organisations that could be of help to others.  I will be sure to pass all information along the line – and share it all on my Facebook page.  If you are looking for help, advice or just someone to talk to, please contact me either through email or my Facebook page HERE.  I am great at finding numbers and websites that might help.

If you would like to donate to any of the causes that have cropped up thanks to this article, please contact your local food bank, or the Trussel Trust, who will be happy for any donations you can give!

I am an author. I am Indie-Published and I sell my books through Amazon.  I am very new at it all (in the scheme of things – only 7 months old) and I have no outside help or agents to publicise me, pay me, or do any of ‘that stuff’.  I live in rented accommodation and I *do* receive a small amount from Child Tax Credits.  My husband works.  We are above the ‘cut off’ wage of £16,190 p.a and are not entitled to any more than we already claim.  While I see the goodwill behind the thousands of comments telling me to claim free meals, Working Tax Credit etc. etc, we are not entitled to them.  We live in the Grey Area of the benefit system and actually make less than those on benefits, after taxes (but the amount after taxes is not the amount used for calculations).

To do my ‘job’, which is writing, I need the computer to be able to both write and publish my work.  My work supplements my husband’s wage.  It is a necessity not a luxury.  It is the tool of my trade.  While it seems to make sense to say that my computer is a luxury, it was actually a very generous gift from a friend who was staying with us for a while, when he was made homeless after a bereavement.  That I feel the need to justify having a computer is indicative of the ‘stigma and shame’ surrounding poverty.  As though not having a TV, not having Internet, not having a computer, keeping the gas off, eating less…(the list here is endless) will somehow magically change the poverty-stricken situation into one of good times and plenty.)

My books can be found here if you are in the UK, and here if you are elsewhere in the world.  Thank you.

As so many people have asked…here is the link to the paperback version.

688 thoughts on “The Upsetting Reality Of Modern Day Poverty.”

  1. Kathleen – your books are on Amazon for just 99p. How much of that do you actually get? It seems such a shame for your work to be sold for so little.

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  4. I’m not sure your council is correct about the free school meals. You don’t have to be on a full benefit to get them. You qualify if you get only child tax credit and your gross annual income is £16190 or less.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I really am in the ‘grey’ area. We are literally a couple of hundred over the cut off. This also means, for the sake of earning that extra £20 a week, we cannot get full housing benefit or council tax benefit. £20 a week has quite literally ‘lost’ us hundreds in claimable benefits. If we earned £25 a week less, we would be £260 a week better off. But this is why I am working to earn enough that it will with luck become a non issue for us, but it is an issue that needs addressing

      Liked by 2 people

  5. You could be writing about me and my family. I too have shouted at Jamie Oliver and his £20 joints of meat. I can’t fit that into my food budget. I’m concerned about your child tax credits though. With four children you should be getting much more than £50 a week. Your annual gross income would have to be over £35000 to get only £50. Have you told HMRC of your change in circumstances? You don’t have to wait till the renewal date to do it. Anyway I wish you and yours all the best and keep O keeping on. It’s hard I know but I’m sure things will get better for you.

    Liked by 2 people

    2. Not quite sure why the abuse is aimed at Jamie Oliver? Everyone will have sympathy for your situation but Jamie’s program isn’t called Poverty Meals, it’s called Save With Jamie. Probably not specifically and totally aimed at people in your situation – just a show to help us all save money. I’m sure there are other recipes in the series that would help you.

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      1. I didn’t read any abuse. Please moderate your expression. I am probably what people would call reasonably comfortably off, and I certainly consider a £20 joint of meat to be a LOT of money, and would expect it to feed six people twice. So who exactly is saving money here?

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  6. More people need to hear your story, please don’t give up! And could I urge you to try a local foodbank. You can be referred thru gp, children’s centre, job centre, even some churches. And social services have nothing to do with it. Check out the Trussell Trust for more info. Good luck for the future!

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  7. Just a suggestion, what about your husband asking for his pay to be cut per week…so then you’ll get extra help? This might sound absurd to some, but you shouldn’t be living in poverty with your ill health…could make things worse!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I know exactly what you mean, but that would, while an ideal shirt term solution, trap us in this place for longer and we *are* determined to escape it 🙂
      Thank you for the suggestion though. It’s certainly an option for some xx

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  11. I grew up like this. As a kid I used to sneak into the local leisure centre and fill an old plastic bottle from their soap dispensers so I could wash my hair. I was called a scrubber for doing this, which I found funny at the time. I collected poeples aluminium cans and hauled them to the scrap yard for money to buy food. I thought £1 was good for a meal for 2. When I left home I would choose between heating and food, and when I had a child I unashamedly stole fruit so that he could eat healthily. Now I run my own business and have too much food in a warm cosy house that I take for granted until I read something like you have written here. Thanks for making me remember.

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  15. Kathleen, you have inspired me to write a book on supercheap meals. I survived for quite a long time on £10 a week for food. Although those days are now gone i have so many easy nutritious meals in my head and ways to make money stretch further. Nothing is hard when you know how. May be if you or anyone can let me know how to self publish, or show me some links that would help it become reality.

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  16. Whereas I can sympathise when things were ‘good’ you were happy with Jamie and his ideas. When your health was good you never thought what might happen. Going to the butchers it was unnecessary to ask for the meat to be put in 3 bags. You say your husband got a new job fantastic and you sell through Amazon if I have read this right. I gained 4 pounds per week by cashing in a small pension and lost 20… I have to watch the pennies too and work out what I can do or not. Eat this or that I have Rhumatoid and Osteoarthritis, diabetes and bronchiectasis but what the heck I am still breathing – some days all I can be bothered to do is sit on the couch – stop moaning.

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    1. This isn’t moaning this is real life for many and needs to be highlighted to the people who supposedly run our country, I think your comment is unfair and all you listed in your comment should surely allow a little empathy and support otherwise all you are doing is moaning!

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  18. You are a breath of fresh air. Thank you for highlighting something that people dont see. It is ridiculously hard tobbe poor, but we wont be poor forever thats what gets me through.

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  20. thjs really hit home with me because we are in the same position. We have £30 a week to buy everything, that’s food, toiletries, gas, electric etc that’s for me, my partner and our two year old little girl. If you ever want to talk then please email me. Minniejem@hotmail.co.uk

    Liked by 1 person

  21. If you only watch catch up shows you dont have to pay for a tv licence – ive just cancelled ours – it will save you £146 a year xxx

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    1. Also the best bet it to not let the TV licence people in and don’t let them see your TV through the window. Apparently they don’t have a right of entry and can’t prosecute you unless they can prove you have a TV – and usually give up if you just don’t engage.

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  22. Bless you Kathleen; i experinced something similar due to a similar history. I was about to take up a top nursing job in the USA and was diagnosed with breast cancer.At the time we were literally 1 week off leaving the country, had sold or given away all the belongings we couldnt take and those that we could were with a shipping agent!
    My husband closed his business and sold off equipment and stock and id just left a 25 year career with the NHS 9 days earlier . We had 3 children the youngest just 5 who finnished school and were privately renting a furnished house , living out of a suitcase each as we prepared to leave.
    OVERNIGHT our world crumbled …no jobs, no home, no income and mum in hospital undergoing mastectomy and months of chemotherapy.
    like you we had to apply for state support, but when you have been used to working for over 20 years and have two incomes it was almost impossible and took about 14 weeks to sort.( i’d given up my job you see…)..The home we rented privately charged far more than housing benefit would pay and there were no local authority homes available…and all at a time when emotinally we were trying to cope with everything, Like you I didnt smoke or have satellite tv and couldnt help wonder how others on ‘the dole’ could afford to be at the takeaway every night, or buying their cigarettes and lottery tickets at the corner shop because i certainly couldnt!
    13 years on, yes we got through it and have slowly pulled our way back to a reasonable life, but at a cost,…. we’re still paying off the debts and having lost our deposit on the house in the USA have no option but remain in private rental ( been on LA waiting list 13 years!) ..with high costs and really at the mercy of the landlord..which is ok if you have a good one!
    I got through it with the love and support of family and my faith, but confess to often asking why me?
    I belive it has made me stronger and yes, so idenify with your creativity with mince! I also used lots of plain pasta and cheap tin tuna and sardines or meatballs,( all the time worrying about a good diet for my children) marked down fruit and veg and liver.You can do it but it is a huge struggle and you are right talking a out £20 joints of lamb…i can’t afford that now!!

    I dont share this for sympathy either.. Life happens and you deal with it, but I wish they would have a cookery programne for once that would show folks how to be creative on £10 a day…perhaps they should be given a list of what folks do get given from foodbanks ( there were none around when I was in this situation.or at least none i knew of) and asked to provide good easy recipies it would be far more use to many people in similar situations.

    I wont insult you with platitudes but please believe me when i say you do get through it. For foodbanks you need to be refferred by gp, dwp , social worker etc and you get a voucher for 3 days supply so its not a permenant solution but will allow you that time to catch up on the utilites etc. Also it might be worth asking for the hospital social worker to apply for a grant from one of the support charities such as BHF. I know it goes against the grain and like you always thought you should avoid social services at all costs but they are the department with the duty of care and you have spent years paying your national insurance so please do not feel you are not entitlted. There are folks worse off but your needs are your needs right now! The right support will help you get back on top, i resisted for ages but am now thankful that i accepted the help for the short time i needed it.

    Sending prayers and encouraging ‘hugs’ your way,

    Thanks for sharing your story with the world, i was never brave enough until now!

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    1. “Like you I didnt smoke or have satellite tv and couldnt help wonder how others on ‘the dole’ could afford to be at the takeaway every night, or buying their cigarettes and lottery tickets”

      I’d say renting somewhere cheaper – sometimes just a room, debt and black market cigarettes factor into that. Some have takeaways cos they live in accommodation without a kitchen, or they haven’t enough money for the electric meter but have enough for hot fast food.

      Also, although compared to a proper career the support even for people with kids can seem like nothing, wages for many people are so low that JSA, Housing Benefit, Child Benefit, tax credits etc can add up to £300 a week (one single mum I know) – even more in London because of their crazy rent.

      Of course most of this goes on rent and bills, but it’s still more than I’ve ever earned so that’s where divide and conquer come in.

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  23. Check out a girl called jack, she’s the champion of low cost meals and info on survival in poverty. Unfair knocks to Jamie Oliver.

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  24. Small tip to save embarrassment of paying for shopping in pennies … morrisons self service tills take coins with no limit and no commission charge. Saved my pride a number of times.

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  25. Go to your local Citizen’s Advice Bureau as they should be able to help you with income maximisation. Also, they can refer you to a food bank and its a confidential service.

    I also wouldn’t waste your money on meat. I am a vegan and my food bill is tiny :-).

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  27. So moved by this. I’ve just bought your book. As a writer myself I never would have considered a computer a luxury. Never! All the best to you. Keep writing. Good things will come to you, I can feel it 🙂

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    1. “As a writer myself I never would have considered a computer a luxury”

      Exactly. You need a mobile number to apply for JSA now (at least online), and it’s extremely difficult to “actively seek work” without your own computer, especially given library cutbacks.

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  28. Thank you! You have summed up my life in your paragraphs. Here’s hoping that those with “power” will realise the harsh world of the hidden poor… And change things for the better. Living on a very tight budget is something you get used to, but it would be so nuice if I could occasionally spend a night of peaceful sleep and purchase a luxury item, be it a much needed new pair of shoes or a warm coat without the overriding sense of guilt and worry of putting food on the table, the thought of the washing machine or other appliance breaking down or the fuel bill for the meagre use of the heating. Thank you for sharing, I knew I wasn’t alone, but it doesn’t seem to be a subject that any one comments publicly on. The word skint to me doesn’t seem to mean the same to anyone else I know. But you seem to have the same definition as myself. Thank you again from another mother who does not claim benefits and who’s husband works harder than most, but doesn’t seem to reap his true worth. X

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  29. Please accept the gifts you are offered and give them to your children. They will grow up and help others, don’t worry.
    There is a noble way to receive as well as to give.

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    1. What a great place, though of course it shouldn’t be needed.

      “Some people walk from Croydon here [8 miles]. We’ve had people walk from Finchley [12 miles] because they haven’t eaten for three days”

      Outrageous!

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  31. Its horrible to say I enjoyed reading that but with the best will in the world I did, it was thoroughly refreshing to read a massively different perspective than what is portrayed on the tv, the classic cherry picked folks that are only chosen to rile the country into thinking we are all like that. I could relate to so much of it and totally get where your coming from. I wish you and your family all the best for the future. Thank you 🙂 P..S I don’t like how sometimes I have to choose the poorer quality end of food, like the extra value tasteless full of shit products, I feel like I am doing my body more harm than good because they are just nasty. I know its easy for those who like to give to food bank collections that sit in the entrance of supermarkets and the like but I wonder what their thoughts are as they pop in a packet of extra value something or other “oh they are poor, they will be grateful for anything” however, if you are genuinely hard up yourself, then that is just fair enough, but ask yourself next time you pop a something into the collection – would you eat it? Same as giving away clothing, would you wear it? If the answer is no, then the poor you are trying to help, if given the choice, would say no too 🙂

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  32. No doubt you are a writer you have captured the essence of the torturous choices that are made every day by millions of poverty stricken households let alone the poor people sanctioned for no reason you loose housing benefit too when that happens
    And have merged it with the annoying nature of Jamie Oliver highlighting his complete lack of understanding of a subject he claims to be an expert in but why are we surprised at this our politicians are masters of horse apples and it’s why we are in this situation but most galling is Ian Duncan Smith laughing when asked about deaths related to sanctions and benefits removals I mean 100’s of people starved committed suicide and heart attacks or died of terminal illness within days of decision and his response is laughing and poo pooing (if only he had poo’d would have liven’d up parliamentary tv)
    I’m so worried about receiving a brown envelope I think they have been doing some kind of pavlovian experiment on the benefits populus
    Enough prattle from me here’s to a better time Hope to see you there
    (sorry for any bad spelling or format errors the comments box stayed white so I could not see my typing)

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  33. Kathleen I’m lost for words and have shared your blog. You sound rich in every way but money and I hope this eases for you all soon. Sending much love and respect x

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  36. £45 to feed four for a week isnt poverty I’m afraid.

    Also jamie oliver is right, 20 quid for a leg of lamb is cheap.

    5k for a ferrari is cheap but it doesnt mean i can afford one

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  37. Sorry to hear this, I can’t understand if you and your husband are both out of work you can’t claim JSA? Sorry if I misread it was a quick read xx

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    1. My husband works and I am a writer, working from home as I can’t keep a ‘regular’ job due to my heart condition. Some days, I can only have bed rest, other days I am fine…but we are not entitled to anything other than Child Tax Credit for the three kids living at home and Child Benefit. I have looked into it and I do get all we’re entitled to. It’s a grey area…and not a fun fifty shades one 😀

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  38. This is such an eye opener to those who “think” they have an idea of what poor is. I was in this position about 7years ago, four children under the age 7. Scraping pennies together to the point where we would check the car for any missed/dropped pennies for nappies. We couldn’t often afford to drive and living in the country made this much harder when you have to take the children to appointments or me going to work. Again, we would buy all the end of day things and make meals stretch. You feel totally isolated, embarrassed and depressed and cold ( constantly no heat ), not to mention the effects on ones health.
    Politicians have no idea of the “real” world. How could they unless they have lived it?
    Your spirit and strength are a credit to you😍 thank you for highlighting this and making people more aware and possibly uniting others and realising they are not alone in their situation. Thank you for making it very clear that what you see on these ridiculous tv programmes is absolutely not a reflection of the “real” people’s poor. X

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  39. I’m not sure if anyone has mentioned this earlier in your comments, as there are over 300, but I thought to provide you with a link to the Feed your Family for £20 a week website. http://feedyourfamilyforless.co.uk/

    It’s actually a Facebook group, but the website saves most of the recipes. It may help some of your readers in a similar situation. Even though I am single, without children, it has helped me take a huge chunk out of my food bills (even if I have to freeze a lot so as not to eat the same meal three times in a row), so I am keen to share the tips. .Sorry if it’s been mentioned before, or if I am being presumptious.

    Liked by 3 people

  40. an amazing read and thought provoking. So many families are on the breadline. Our story is simple, we lived a fantastic life and never saved, preferring to spend every penny. Then, the recession hit. My husbands business went down to just himself from 12 employees overnight and the debts and credit we had been quietly accumulating suddenly became an unmanageable sum. The bank called in our overdraft. Our mortgage payments were huge. We were not eligible for any government help. We had 2 options, to go bankrupt and lose everything or fight. We are both stubborn so we fought (and still are). We’ve paid off 60k of debt in 3 years. Everything is budgeted to the last penny. All my bills are weekly standing orders., all my meals cooked from scratch. We both work full time, I hold down 3 jobs in excess of 60 hours a week. I ebay everything we don’t need. There is no spare but we’re getting there. We are all healthy, my kids are happy and understand the value of money. We have learnt a valuable lesson but can hold our heads up high as we are not giving up!

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  42. you are a voice that needs to be heard. I work with adults with learning disabilities who are also in this poverty trap. Due to the unscrupulous acts of some lots are now suffering with depleted benefits and are living hand to mouth. This is not a life, this is simply cruel. I wish you and everyone in this position all the luck and determination to get through this

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  44. Everything very well said – have reblogged too. Totally captivated by the opening chapters of Into the Woods and have ordered the paperback. Can’t wait for it to arrive!

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  45. This is complete rubbish.

    Before having four children you should have saved your money instead of “splashing out” on expensive food as you put it.

    Nobody is to blame for you getting heart problems, but your feeble attempt to blame Jamie Oliver’s newfound pretentiousness on your problematic life is irresponsible and childish.

    You hit some bad luck, it’s true. But you’ve only got yourself to blame for living it up during the good times and not putting money by, not to mention having four children that you were gambling on being able to afford for 18 years. You should have been putting money by anyway if you planned on having 4 children.

    You talk about pretentiousness but then go on to talk about the current working class in the most pretentious way possible (pyjamas and cigarettes, could you be anymore presumptuous?)

    I wish your children well, but Fuck you for your sheer arrogance and inability to take responsibility for your own life.

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    1. You do realise the blogger is ill don’t you? What would happen to your income if you severely or permanently injured crossing the road? Even if you have a lot of savings, what if another banking or currency crisis wiped them out? Surely you should have been prepared?

      How rich should someone be and how much savings should they have before they are allowed to have children in your world?

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      1. Even if she did have savings they’d have been used up pretty quickly and then she would be in this situation. All it would have done is delayed this exact situation. Very few people in their 20s have savings enough to cover them and their kids for any length of time. Your comment is pointless, she *is* in this situation, whatever the cause and without a time machine what you have to say is irrelevant to her life.

        Also when she referred to the smoking and PJs thing, she was mocking societies view of the poor and talking about the people they parade on TV shows to make people hate benefits claimants.

        Maybe before you tell people “F*** You” for arrogance, you should get your own arrogance in check.

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  46. I think you should swallow your pride and claim the help from the Government that you are entitled to. If not for yourself do it for your kids. As someone has already mentioned citizens advice is there to help. You should be getting more child tax credit at least, get them to double check! Disability living allowance? The benefits are there to help you when times are hard. My parents were too proud to claim the benefits they were entitled to, it was a very stressful environment to grow up in.

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  47. Thanks for being so honest and saying what it is really like. I earn a ‘good’ wage and I have to budget pretty hard and I don’t have children either, although my husband is retired with a small pension. I only get a £20 joint of meat if we were having family to stay, otherwise it’s a no no. For anyone that needs them, your GP should be able to refer you to a foodbank – ours does. Sincerely hope that life gets better for you soon x

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  48. I read your blog and just bought your book because I was inspired by your honesty. I struggle to read books but from reading the first couple of pages on amazon I am looking forward to reading it!
    Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you all the best from here on,

    Everything will be okay in the end, if it’s not okay, it’s not the end 🙂

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  49. Have you applied for PIP? As you have health conditions that affect your day to day life and make it difficult for you to do basic things you should be entitled, often your initial application is turned down but you can appeal and in your case it is likely you would win. It is not means tested and even at the lowest rate it would help your situation. Even if you have been turned down before it’s worth looking into. Also as you are too ill to work in a regular job you could apply for esa. It is soul destroying but it’s money in the bank. I am lucky in that when my health went kerput I was single and I don’t have children but I did lose my career and my big house. I now live in a one bed flat and am doing some flexible work with a view to coming off esa. Good luck to you and your family, I hope the situation improves.

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    1. My Husband has angina and had a heart attack. He is not entitled to PIP because he doesn’t need daily care and doesn’t need to use his own car/taxis instead of buses. If this lady is looking after her kids while her Husband works; then she probably won’t get it. 😦

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  50. I can relate to some of what you say here. Luckily, neither my partner or I have been rendered unable to work at any stage and I thank the fates for that. I felt the same when I watched Jamie. Bless him for trying but really he hasn’t a clue.

    Have just watched the first of Eat Well, Spend Less on the bbc, and even there, I could save that family another £40 a week! How the hell are they spending £260 a week on food??! How much are they throwing away??! My family eat on about £50 to £70 a week, there’s four of us and we still get treats. Unbelievable that they still think they should be spending £170 odd a week…. Try moving from Tesco to Aldi for a start…

    It’s horrific how we’ve all been led into this trap of feeling guilty if we don’t spend a fortune at every given opportunity, and then to feel even more guilty when that spending bites us on the bum.

    I hope things start to turn around for you. Good luck with all your endeavours. X

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